Homer McFanboy

the pineapple express

2008-08-18T07:32:00.006-04:00

After the Washington Redskins surprising victory over the New York Jets, the game ball goes to an unlikely candidate -- 'Skins fourth-string quarterback Derek Devine. Why, you ask?

With a little bit more than three minutes remaining in the first half, Devine (who looks way more like actor James Franco in his NFL.com bio picture than should legally be allowed) dropped back on 3rd and 18 from the Jets 19-yard line and threw an interception. Redskins fans might not have liked Devine's decision to stare down tight end Todd Yoder and get picked off by Jets defensive back James Ihedigbo at the time, but it's because of that play that the 'Skins were able to win the game and improve their record to 3-0 in meaningless preseason play.

Not following me? Keep up. We'll get there.

"The Tasty Drink" Todd Collins was injured on the previous play, forcing Devine, the pride of Canby High School, into action. Instead of panicking, Devine stepped up and fired a telegraphed pass into the arms of Ihedigbo, who had exactly zero career interceptions prior to this play. Ihedigbo, who was clearly shocked to have the ball in his hands, then nearly lost the ball as he fumbled before recovering it again at the Jets 17-yard line. That's when Jim Zorn and the Redskins coaching staff knew they had this game won.

Sensing just how this game was going to play out, Zorn had announced earlier in the week that he was altering his QB rotation. While ridiculous Redskins fans immediately held their collective breath in hopes that the next sentence was "Colt Brennan has been moved up to second on the depth chart and Todd Collins has been traded to Minnesota for Gus Frerotte," the ZornStar had other plans.

Turns out he wanted Brennan to be the fourth string QB against the Jets. Not because he was disappointed with Colt, but because he wanted to see how Mr. Hawaii could handle running a two-minute drill at the end of the game. Once Devine lulled Ihedigbo and the Jets defense into a false sense of security, the table was set for the next chapter of "The Legend of the Colt."

With 2:04 left to play, and the Redskins trailing the J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! (sorry about that) 10-6 in an uninspiring game, Brennan and friends sauntered onto the field to take over on the Redskins 20-yard line. First play - Brennan to wide out Billy "Brothers" McMullen for a 37-yard gain. After the two-minute warning, Colt hands off to running back Marcus Mason, who scampers for a 14-yard pickup. The 'Skins go no huddle and set the final bait, as Brennan allows himself to be sacked for a loss of four yards.

On 2nd and 14 from the Jets 33-yard line, Brennan snaps the ball and ... well, I'll let Colt take over from here.

"I had two linebackers creeping, and I could see that the safety was off to the right," Brennan told me after the game. "He wasn't looking like he was really going to be covering someone and I knew they were going to blitz me. As soon as I got in there they were blitzing me hard, and we knew the blitz was probably coming. They came and my tight end came over the middle and luckily he was anticipating the ball. I kind of just threw it up there to just get the ball off. I didn't throw a great ball, but the defender guarding him went for the ball and Jason [Goode] was able to bring it in, turn, and a guy missed the tackle. They had no one behind him because they had blitzed and we were able to get in the endzone."

The one thing the classy Colt left out was that the defender who went for the interception and missed was, you guessed it ... James Ihedigbo. It seems after getting his first taste of an NFL interception, he couldn't help but go for it again. The only problem, Colt Brennan ain't no Derek Devine. Ihedigbo passed up the safe play for the hope of a highlight and the rest, as the kids say, is history.

After the game I asked Goode, the rookie tight end out of Maryland, where this touchdown ranked on his career highlight list.

"This has to be top five, I'd say top five," Goode said.

That's when I asked if he realized that it was Brennan's birthday, and that he had just given Colt a helluva gift.

"Oh is it," Goode asked. "I guess I'll have to get him another birthday present from friend to friend, from teammate to teammate."

In the locker room I asked Brennan why no one else on the team seemed to know it was his birthday and was amused by his candid answer.

"I was afraid of what kind of hazing would happen to a guy on his birthday, so I tried to keep it hush," said Brennan , who apparently isn't familiar or very confident in coach Zorn's no rookie hazing policy.

Either way it was the perfect answer from young quarterback who continues to improve. It's becoming more and more apparent why Hawaii has fallen in love with this kid. If he keeps it up he too may one day get a game ball.

[Editor's note: Matt Terl, the Redskins highly-talented blogger, writes in to shed some light on the topic of Brennan and rookie hazing. "Colt got his stuff talcum powdered at the home game, so he’s understandably skittish," Terl said. "Not sure why no one covered that, but there you go."]

(photos by Brian Murphy)

cruise control

2008-08-16T18:32:00.003-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

And here you thought Brett Favre was the biggest name at the Redskins-Jets game tonight.

no controversy

2008-08-13T15:33:00.003-04:00

Football fans nationwide will be tuned in when the Washington Redskins take on the New York Jets this Saturday night at the Meadowlands, after the game was picked up by the NFL Network. That’s because Brett Favre will be making his debut, playing for a team other than the Green Bay Packers for the first time since the other George Bush was in office.

And while most fans will be watching to see how “Brett the Jet” fits in, I can’t help but think there’s a contingency of Redskins fans who wish Favre would have somehow ended up in D.C. Why? Because the district, more than anywhere else in America, loves a quarterback controversy. Whether we’re talking about Sonny versus Billy or even Brad Johnson versus Jeff George, this town simply cannot get enough of the QB drama.

When Jason Campbell went down with a dislocated his kneecap against the Chicago Bears last year, the coaching staff was forced to dust off “The Tasty Drink” Todd Collins, who hadn’t thrown a meaningful pass in a decade. The guy who had been brought into town to essentially be an extra coach on the field to teach Campbell and Mark Brunell Al Saunders’ vaunted 700-page playbook was asked to step in and lead a 5-7 team that was all but dead.

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, the 36-year-old Collins found backup tight end Todd Yoder for a huge touchdown pass in that Bears game and never looks back. The team closed the season with a four-game winning streak when anything less would have sent them home for the holidays, and miraculously carried the ‘Skins into the playoffs. The team got sent home a week later after the offensive line failed to arrive in Seattle, but that was more than enough for some Redskins fans to call for an open competition between Campbell and Collins for the starting job this season.

Thankfully, The Danny, Vinny Cerrato and the newly hired Jim Zorn didn’t listen. They said the minute Campbell was healthy, he would again be the starter. If Collins was to come back to D.C., it would be as a backup.

When I asked Campbell earlier this month what he thought about some fans calling for a QB competition, he didn't hesitate to speak his mind.

“I didn’t feel like I did anything to lose it,” Campbell said. “You’re talking about a young guy – I’m going into my fourth year. I didn’t feel like I did anything to lose my starting job last year. We started out the season real strong, you know. We lost to the Giants at the end of the game and we go to Green Bay, played a great game and lost a heartbreaker. Like I said, we lost a lot of heartbreakers – in Dallas and in Tampa. All those games, we were in. We were right there. I don’t think it’s fair for people to say that. We got everyone healthy back on defense and offense and Todd did a great job keeping the team going into the playoffs.”

Here’s where it gets funny. Those same fans who called for Campbell’s head during the offseason have changed their tune. Campbell has been lights out for most of training camp and the preseason (prompting Peter King of Sports Illustrated to say Campbell turned in one of the best training camp performances King has seen in more than 20 years covering the NFL). During the ‘Skins first two preseason games, J.C. has completed 80 percent of his passes with one touchdown and no interceptions and has a sparkling 125.6 passer rating. Even more encouraging, Jason isn’t holding the ball as much (Campbell had 12 fumbles a year ago). No one is calling for him to lose the job anymore.

"The thing that I really was impressed with Jason last night [was that] he had two pocket scrambles,” said Zorn after the Buffalo game. “He was in the pocket, scrambled in the pocket and bought time, then drilled the ball very accurately. Those are things I'm looking for. We've been drilling those things. He made a couple of plays that were big-league plays that way."

And Collins? Well, he’s not functioning at the same level without Saunders calling the shots. What was once automatic now seems slow and clunky. Instead of closing his eyes and knowing where the receiver should be, Collins now seems tentative delivering the ball. Collins struggles have given the same group of fans an unprecedented opportunity – the chance to call for a backup quarterback controversy. The same fans who anointed Collins the future would now like him to hold the clipboard while The Savoir … er … Colt Brennan waits in the wings behind Campbell. Thankfully, the Redskins front office continues to stick to the plan and ignore the uninformed masses. Can you imagine the circus in town if Favre had ended up in the maroon and black?

according to fred

2008-08-07T09:22:00.006-04:00

I readily admit that I am not a football expert. When I'm on the sidelines during a game I'm focusing on taking photos and trying to keep up with the flow of the game. I'm not breaking down plays or charting what coverages teams are in or what tendencies the coaches have. I happily leave that to the pros. Instead of attempting to fool folks into believing I know what I'm talking about, I figured we'd be better off turning the blog over to one of the pros. So, I present to you, the one, the only -- Fred Smoot.

Here's what the loquacious cornerback had to say about the Hall of Fame game and anything else that came to mind.

First preseason game is in the books. How you feeling?

“We feeling good – especially as a team,” Smoot said. “Guys came out there and made plays, especially a lot of the young guys. You know, in the NFL you’re only as good as the last person on your roster, so it’s important to have young talent, especially in the backfield. In the defensive backfield we have a lot of young talent.”

What did you see from J.T. Tryon?

“I’ve seen a lot from him since the first day he checked in for training camp,” Smoot said. “He’s gonna be real good. He can return the ball, plus he plays nickel for us. You know it’s gonna take a little while for him to catch on while he develops, but he’s catching on real strong.”

What about Chris Horton?

“Horton? Come on, two sacks,” Smoot said. “He showed he can play around the ball. All of us got things we need to get better at. Him learning in the league how to play the deep third and stuff like that, but I think he’s gonna be a great player.”

Can a veteran player like you get something out of a meaningless preseason game?

“Yeah,” he said. “Any time you come out here on a football field you can learn something new. This game, you never stop learning it. And me, especially early in the season, it’s good for me to get out here and get everything crisp. That’s why me and Shawn [Springs] made sure we came out here and played.”

I’m not going to let you get away with saying you’ve got to watch the game film first. How’d you do tonight?

“I did pretty good, besides dropping that pick,” Smoot said.

I wanted you to bring it up first. What the heck happened?

(Laughs). “You know, I dropped that thing,” Smoot said. “Maybe I was thinking about going a hundred before I caught the ball.”

So you already had the dance picked out and everything?

(Still laughing). “Yeah, you know what I’m saying. I had a dance picked out, but I didn’t make the play,” said Smoot.

That’s the preseason you, right? In the regular season …

“Most definitely,” he said. “I’m gonna make sure I get at least 50 balls after each practice. I can’t be doing that under the lights.”

What’s this we keep hearing about you not passing a conditioning test?

“Don’t believe it,” he said. “Don’t buy into that. It’s just a little joke me and my coaches are playing. I’m one of the best conditioned athletes on this team. Come on. I’m actually 17 lbs. lighter than I was when I checked in last year. I was around 197, now I’m 183. I’m in the best shape of my life.”

We’ll here’s your chance to get even. Tell me how the rookie head coach did in his debut.

“He did well,” said Smoot, declining to fire back at Jim Zorn for selling him out on the conditioning test. “He did well. He showed you a few things out there. The thing about it, I think he did a great job – especially with him being an offensive guru. Come on, I think our quarterbacks probably missed four or five passes out there today, man. Every one of them that got in looked like they’d been there before, even Colt Brennan. It’s his first game and he looked real well. We gotta catch up with the offense. They’re looking real good. On defense, we gotta make sure we ain’t the ones losing games.”

That's not really something fans should spend too much time worrying about. The 'Skins defense finished in the top 10 last year, and the addition of Jason "McDreamy" Taylor, as well as players like Carlos Rogers and Rocky McIntosh getting healthy in time for the start of season would suggest the defense has all the tools to be just as dominant in 2008.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

the legend of the colt

2008-08-06T12:12:00.007-04:00

As previously noted, Redskins fans have quickly found a place in their hearts for rookie quarterback Colt Brennan.

Maybe it's due to the fact he broke 30 records during his time at Hawaii or maybe it's because he sounds like a kid who knows how to have a good time. Either way, 'Skins fans are more vocal about Brennan than any team has ever been about a third-stringer QB.

When Todd Collins threw his first incomplete pass during the Hall of Fame game (on 3rd and 4 during the team's first drive of the second quarter), more than just a few Redskins fans at Fawcett Stadium let it be known that they'd rather see Colt in the game.

By the time Brennan actually got onto the field, you would have thought Rudy was finally getting a shot to play for Notre Dame by the ovation he received. And of course, Colt had a strong showing -- completing 9 of 10 passes for 123 yards and two touchdowns to lead the Redskins bench warmers to a victory over the Colts scrubs. I joked after the game that a couple more outings like this and the 'Skins might have the first-ever back-up quarterback controversy.

Since he's quickly becoming one of the most talked about players on the roster, I decided to track down Brennan to find out exactly what this kid is about.

Point blank - what's the reason so many fans seem to be taking to you so quickly?

"I think people are really infatuated kind of with the fact that I came from Hawaii," Brennan said. "That seems to be the focus of most questions and the most asked about thing. Hawaii is such a unique place and such an awesome place, and for me to go out there and have success I think people have been really excited about seeing something different. It seems like traditionally it's about the SEC, the Big 10 and the PAC 10, and for me being from Hawaii, it's different. People like different sometimes."

What did you know about the Redskins before they drafted you?

"They always had one of the best franchises and fanbases in football," Brennan said. "Ever since Mr. Snyder took over they've gotten a great reputation as far as being one of the best football franchises in the NFL, so I knew I was headed to the right place when I got drafted here."

I know you weren't pleased being drafted so late, but how fortunate do you consider yourself ending up here with a head coach who was a pretty good quarterback in his day?

"That's kind of the silver lining, as far as the draft process," he said. "I really meant it when I said all that really matters to me is where I end up, and I couldn't be more pleased about the franchise and the team. We're loaded with talent offensively. We have a great coach in Coach Zorn, and I'm just really excited about my opportunity. Coming in, people aren't expecting to see something right away. They're going to give me time to develop and I couldn't be any happier with where I ended up."

What kind of feedback have you gotten from the coaching staff on your throwing motion and your mechanics? Are they happy with everything?

"Mostly with me it's been about my footwork," Brennan said. "Getting the muscle memory back, especially after surgery and not being very explosive. When I first got here, he kind of touched on my release and wanted to see what he could do. But to be honest, as time has progressed and everything, he's really kind of backed off that. He said, 'All that really matters is that you get it from point A to point B.' Guys in the NFL like Phillip Rivers, Vince Young and Tony Romo -- some of those guys have lower releases than me and it hasn't stopped them or deterred them from being successful."

What kind of quarterback did the Redskins get when they drafted you?

I'd say that basically I'm a football player," Colt said. "I'll never forget guys like Drew Brees and Brett Favre were football players first. Yeah, they were great quarterbacks, but I think what made them great was that they were football players first. I love the game and I love having fun out there. I might be a little unorthodox, but I'm a great football player. I always have been, and hopefully I always will be."

He's got the resume. He gets results. He's already got the fans. Now, if we could just get him to stop sporting the visor ...

(photo by Brian Murphy)

we belong here

2008-08-06T07:12:00.003-04:00

Can't get enough Homer McFanboy? Well then, you're in luck, sir.

In addition to your regularly scheduled programming, you can also head over to Skinscast this morning and listen to our latest Redskins podcast. In this episode we talk about everything from the Hall of Fame ceremony to the Colt Brennan Experience. By the end of the show, we end up arguing (no surprise there) over which rookie pass catcher will have the biggest impact on the 2008 season (I'll give you a hint - he's not very good with alarm clocks). So click the link and go check out the show - if for no other reason than to hear John actually hit puberty halfway through the show. Good times.

rookie spotlight

2008-08-05T10:25:00.004-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Unlike some fans, I wholeheartedly believe that very little can be taken away from a preseason game (well ... unless Steve Spurrier decides to try out his entire playbook during the meaningless exhibition). Veterans go into these games with two objectives -- avoid injury and enjoy finally hitting someone in a different jersey. If they work out a few kinks or iron out some flaws in their techniques that's great, but after lining up against teammates twice a day for a couple weeks I cannot convey how much they relish hitting an opponent.

So right out the gate, I'll say that this post is meant to simply satisfy the desires of the diehard fans who believe football season can't start soon enough. Instead of worrying about veterans who saw little or no playing time, I'm going to focus on the Redskins 2008 draft class. Here's where Cousin Vinny's rookies stand after their first NFL preseason game:

Devin Thomas, wide receiver, Michigan State -- The 'Skins top draft pick did not play in Canton due to a hamstring injury.

Fred Davis, tight end, USC -- "Sleepy" Davis hauled in three catches for 23 yards in his debut. His longest catch was for only eight yards and he averaged 7.7 per reception, but that doesn't mean he didn't stand out in head coach Jim Zorn's eyes.

"We wanted to give Fred Davis the ball a couple times, and he not only caught it, but he turned up field and showed that he is a tough runner after the catch," said the rookie coach. "He did very well sustaining blocks, and we were pleased with the way he handled things one-on-one."

Malcolm Kelly, wide receiver, Oklahoma -- Like Thomas, Kelly was forced to sit the game out due to injury. In fact, Kelly underwent arthroscopic knee surgery the day after the game to remove loose particles in his left knee and is expected to miss two weeks.

Chad Reinhart, offensive lineman, N. Iowa -- Offensive tackles Todd Wade (sprained ankle) and Stephon Heyer (strained knee) were both injured during the 'Skins-Colts game, forcing Reinhart into additional playing time.

"Chad Rinehart played both tackle and guard, and he did an excellent job for a young guy," Zorn said. "He really is aware of what is going on, and as he gets more reps, he will continue to improve. He will be a factor this year as a guy that can play two positions."

J.T. Tryon, cornerback, Arizona State -- Not a great day at the office for Tryon. By my count, the brash rookie got beat twice on defense and fumbled a kickoff.

Durrant Brooks, punter, Georgia Tech -- The 'Skins obviously wanted to give Brooks the chance to win the job, choosing to bench veteran punter Derrick Frost in favor of the youngster.

“What we wanted to do is see if he could handle a whole game," Zorn said. "There were no shanks which I was excited about. We got to see him hold one field goal, which we missed, but the hold was just right. Overall, I was pleased with his performance.”

Kareem Moore, safety, Nicholls State -- I had to double check the gamebook to see that he did, in fact, play in the game. Guess it's safe to say Moore didn't make much of an impact.

Colt Brennan, quarterback, Hawaii -- Let me put it this way, the first time Todd Collins threw an incomplete pass (on 3rd and 4 during the 'Skins first drive of the second quarter) more than a few fans began calling for Brennan. By the time the rookie QB finally trotted out to the field, you'd have thought that Art Monk was jogging back into the Redskins huddle as fans voiced their approval. So how did Colt fare? Brennan completed 9 of 10 passes for 123 yards and two touchdowns to lead the Redskins back-ups to a victory over the Colts back-ups. A couple more outings like this and the 'Skins might have the first-ever back-up quarterback controversy.

Rob Jackson, defensive end, Kansas State -- Jackson might have only finished the game with one tackle and one sack, but he was definitely noticeable whenever he was on the field. The guy seems to have the abilities, he just needs to get more reps to avoid moments like when he got too excited and jumped offsides.

Chris Horton, safety, UCLA -- While most fans exited the stadium gushing over the play of Colt Brennan, Horton's play was what impressed me the most. That's because the seventh-round pick finished with five tackles, two sacks and recovered the Colts' onside attempt to start the game. People will remember Jason Campbell's perfect touch pass to Antwaan Randle El for the touchdown, but that never happens if Horton doesn't make the play.

All in all, the play of Horton, Brennan and Davis should give fans (and Randy Thomas) a reason to smile moving forward. If this is the starting point as the players continue to improve and adjust to the NFL game, then maybe, just maybe Vinny Cerrato knew what he was doing when he brought these guys into town.

home away from home

2008-08-04T16:48:00.001-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Just got back from a highly-enjoyable weekend in Canton. Since "exhausted" is the word of the day, I will simply leave you with this photo of Darrell Green and Art Monk from the pre-game ceremony of the Redskins-Colts preseason opener and the memory of the four-minute standing ovation Monk received after finally being voted into the Hall of Fame.

army fumbles again

2008-07-31T15:29:00.003-04:00

(courtesy photo)

Someone in the Pentagon owes a thank you note to Ted Thompson and the Green Bay Packers.

While the biggest story of the weekend revolved around the Wisconsin-based soap opera As the Favre Turns, the U.S. Army was quietly trying to sweep a public relations mess under the rug after once again mishandling a story involving the National Football League.

That's because, on the eve of training camp, the powers that be in the Department of the Army decided to call an audible and force rookie safety Caleb Campbell, who was drafted by the Detroit Lions in the seventh round of the NFL draft, to head for the showers so that his alter ego, 2nd Lt. Caleb Campbell, could returned back to West Point immediately for duty.

Surely, there was an explanation, right? No one would object if it turned out that Campbell was in a high-demand branch the Army was understaffed in and was needed immediately to deploy in support of the Global War on Terrorism. Football is supremely popular in our culture, but not to the point that anyone expects troops to be picked off the battle lines in favor of playing special teams and garbage time for a perennial loser in Detroit. All it would take is one high-ranking officer standing in front of a podium explaining that this was the case and no one would have thought twice about it.

But much like the Pat Tillman nightmare, the Army assessed the situation, figured out the worst possible way it could play out and then called that play.

Click here for the full article.

catch a beat running like ...

2008-07-31T07:01:00.003-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Santana Moss will forever be remembered for his late-game heroics during a Monday Night Football game in Dallas back in 2005. His 39 and 70 yard touchdowns propelled the 'Skins to an improbable 14-13 victory over the rival Cowboys in a game they had no business winning. The following season, Moss struck again, hauling in a 68-yard game winner in overtime to shock the Jacksonville Jaguars 36-30 (in what I consider the most exciting game I've covered). These are the moments that define the diminutive receiver.

Unfortunately, these moments were few and far between last season. After a solid start, a strained groin slowed Moss for much of the rest of the 2007 season. We had a chance to catch up with Santana recently and chatted about everything from marriage to mixed martial arts. Oh, and we even found time to discuss a little football too.

How frustrating was last year, with all of the nagging injuries and everything?

"It was, but at the same time, when you overcome it, it builds you to be a stronger person," Moss said. "One thing I take from every year, I look at what I go through and I say to myself 'How did I finish?' Or 'What did I accomplish?' If you can get something out of -- because no one in the NFL is going to play with everything alright -- but when I go through stuff like that it just builds me stronger and makes me understand that I'm doing things when I'm not at full speed. I'm just looking forward to having one of those years where, if nothing's bothering me, I'll just be able to dominate the whole time."

So are you tired of training camp, or are you actually getting something out of this?

"I like to put in the work and really look forward to what we gonna be able to show after the whole thing is done," he said. "Training camp is one of those experiences where there's gonna be dog days and it's gonna be hard, but as long as you put the work in you have something to look forward to when it comes to the season."

Congrats on getting married this offseason. Has that changed anything between the two of you?

"Nah. I've been with her like 13 years already, so it just made an honest woman out of her. That's all," Moss said.

Naturally, the topic of marriage made me think of mixed martial arts, so I asked Santana about MMA and was surprised by his answer.

"I like that. I actually enjoy watching that. I actually trained -- I did a little of that training-wise this year, and it's some tough shit, man," he said.

What did you do?

"All kinds of stuff," he said. "The conditioning is crazy -- the fighting, the punching and the kicking. You think you can do that for hours, and those guys can do it. But it's not easy at all. So my first couple of months when I was home, instead of doing football stuff, just to keep my wind right. There wasn't a day that I did it that I was in shape. I felt like it broke me down every day. There was something new that I experienced every day."

What are you seeing from these rookie receivers?

"I see a lot of potential," Moss said. "When you come into this league young, with so much going on, you're trying to settle in and trying to do this and do that. What I see with these guys, they're confident. They already know that they've got guys in front of them that's gonna help them. There's no envy. We all here together. We've all been in this situation, so I'm gonna let them know everything that I know, and the stuff that I don't know we'll learn together."

What can Redskins fans expect from you guys this year?

"You know, it's early," he said. "All we can do is be the best that we can be. I don't like to talk the talk. I like to go out there and show it. All they can know is that we're gonna line up every week and be the best team."

A healthy and motivated Santana Moss is just what this team, and especially Jason Campbell need for the 2008 season. With things looking up both on and off the field for Moss, Redskins fans can reasonably expect a return to the Pro Bowl level they're used to seeing. And with some mixed martial arts under his belt, we can only hope that the first time Adam "Pacman" Jones or Asante Samuel attempt to jam him at the line of scrimmage, he breaks out a rear-naked choke and makes them tap.

And heaven help Roy Williams if he tries to horse collar anyone when the 'Skins and Cowboys meet again.

hit the road jack

2008-07-25T14:37:00.005-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Pictured above is the aforementioned Jon Jansen training camp RV. When they're not on the field or in meetings, it's a safe bet Jansen, Rabach and friends are hiding away in here. Figured since it was mentioned in an entry earlier this week, the least I could do was provide a shot of it. This picture is also symbolic because I'm hitting the road. Instead of camping out at Redskins Park, I'm headed down to the Outer Banks for a weekend getaway. I'd like to tell you I'm sorry, but honestly ... I'm not.

See you next week.

rookie hazing

2008-07-25T07:10:00.007-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

"Momma never told me there'd be days like this."

If you could guess what is on the mind of rookie wide receiver Devin Thomas, who suffered a hamstring injury Thursday and will be out for at least the next 10-14 days. If that's not enough, this is also the week we were finally able to track him down and give him that long-awaited father-son type talk. Some of you may remember that Thomas won the 2008 Rookie Madden Bowl back in May, but that win was clearly tainted because of questionable tactics used by the Michigan State Spartan -- namely using the Dallas Cowboys to win the video game tournament. On Wednesday, just 24 hours before he suffered the first setback of his professional career, we tracked him down and set him straight on the one simple rule to survive in this town.

Tell me about this Madden tournament we heard about, I said.

"Oh yeah, it's a little competition they have for the rookies and I won," said Thomas, full of confidence. "I handled it pretty well. I took out some guys that were pretty good, and I'll tell you, it's fun, man. If anybody wants to challenge me in that Madden they can come get it."

He had no clue, but someone was in fact about to challenge him. I paused for a second and then asked, "What team did you use?"

"I was using the Redskins at first," said Thomas, realizing where this interview was heading.

That's not the rumor, was my reply.

"At first. I said at first," he said. "Then I had to go ahead and sneak in the Dallas Cowboys."

He was already using words like "sneak." Clearly the kid knew he did wrong.

Did no one pull you aside and tell you there's one team you're not allowed to use? You know, the arch rival of the team that gives you a paycheck now.

"Uh ... I mean ... it was just a situation where I had to use the guys I used to play with, so I had to bring out someone I was comfortable with," Thomas said, backpeddling as fast as he could.

We continued to chat while he signed autographs for fans after practice. Once the interview was over and the recorder was off, Thomas promised me that he knows better now and will refrain from sullying the Redskins good name by using a team that would have sent George Allen over the top (well, if he knew what video games were).

All in all, he's a good kid and he seems to have a decent head on his shoulders. Let's chalk this up to a momentary lapse in judgment and never speak of it again.

introducing "mcdreamy" taylor

2008-07-24T08:10:00.005-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

I guess I should mention the newest addition to the Washington Redskins. You guys may not know this, but #55 is not Dallas Sartz. It’s actually a defensive lineman named Jason Taylor, who men know from his distinguished football career and women drool over because he tap danced his way into their collective hearts on a reality TV show. Seriously, ask any woman nearby what she thinks of Jason Taylor and watch her melt in front of you. It’s absurd.

So yesterday at practice a group of 'Skins fans were calling Taylor “J.T.” every time they saw him. That, my friends, is a no go at this station. Those initials -- much like L.T. is reserved for Lawrence Taylor and LaDainian Tomlinson has to settle for LDT -- are taken. As everyone knows, J.T. is Justin Timberlake. And it’s okay to admit you know it, fellas. He was awesome in Black Snake Moan and even this past week at the ESPY awards. The guy is bringing sexy back, so show him some respect and don’t name new guy after him.

Instead, from this point on, we’ll be referring to Jason Taylor as “McDreamy.” Girls gets that retarded look in their eye when you mention his name, just like when they’re talking about Grey’s Anatomy, so it kind of works out. Plus, that means we can call Jason Fabini “McMuffin” and Chris Cooley “McLovin.” Seriously, it’s a win-win.

Oh, and before I forget, whoever first suggested that Taylor looks like King Xerxes from the movie 300 ... well ... let's just say that I got a good chuckle out of that one. Thanks for making my day.

down with the dirtbags

2008-07-23T07:01:00.001-04:00

(AP photo)

As we've previously established, I've officially given up on trying to bring any type of breaking news or in-depth training camp breakdowns. Smart Redskins fans have plenty of places to go for that kind of stuff. Instead, I'll continue to focus on some of the important issues that may otherwise go unreported, like how many days into training camp does offensive tackle Jon Jansen anticipate it will take before he and defensive lineman Kedric Golston start throwing punches at each other yet again, or exactly what does it take to be able to enter the training camp mobile home?

So without further adieu, here's a quick one-on-one chat between a Homer and a Dirtbag.

First things first, are the milkshakes here?

"They will be. They're not here yet, but it's once a week and they'll be here later this week."

And the RV?

"The RV is out there and ready to go."

Is the access list fully updated with who is allowed in?

"I've got a committee and if somebody wants in I take down their name to the committee and we go from there."

When can we expect Jansen-Golston III, since it's become a training camp ritual?

"Ahhh ... we've got to get the pads on and it's gotta get just a little bit warmer. Maybe a couple more days into camp we'll all start gettig grumpy and things will start getting good."

What do you say to the folks who say that the offensive line is an area of concern because of the injuries to you and Randy Thomas?

"I can't really say it on print or on the radio, but it shouldn't be a concern. I had a fluke injury last year because somebody fell on me. It wasn't a wear and tear issue. I'll be fine this year and moving forward."

What do you see from the rookie Chad Rinehart?

"I'll have to wait until we see video from today, and then I'll let you know once we strap on the pads. This is I call it our helmets and skirts, so once we put our pants on we'll see what happens."

Right about then, I thanked Mr. Jansen for his time and let him head off into the building for meetings. But I did stop his partner in crime, center Casey Rabach, long enough to follow up on the RV question.

I see an RV out there. What can you tell me about it?

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I love that about you, that you'll deny everything until the end. Jansen said that there's a rigorious process that reviews individual applicants. Can you shed any light on that?

"Yeah. You definitely need to be a card-carrying member to enter, and there are very few cards that have been handed out so far. I'm willing to bet there are even fewer given out this year, so we'll see what happens."

So if you're a kicker who happens to currently be in a feud with Rabach and Jansen, it's probably pretty safe to say you're not getting in the RV or getting any Michigan milkshakes. And if you're Kedric Golston, I'd try to get the panel to approve your RV visitation rights now, because in a week or so you very well may find yourself on the business end of a left cross from the feisty veteran lineman. Consider yourself warned.

fantasy football

2008-07-21T14:04:00.005-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Did Pro Bowl tight end Chris Cooley really just post a link to my interview audio, post my photos and give me a shout out ("Photo credits go to Brian Murphy and Extremeskins.com as always they have the best stuff")? Clearly, this world no longer makes sense.

And don't even mention that he talks about sporting an "elephant thong" before he gets around to me. I know where I rank in the grand scheme of things, and have no problem with where I sit on the depth chart.

This is the point where I state the obvious -- Cooley is the most popular player on the Redskins roster. So much so, that Dale Earnhardt Jr. is on the record saying he'd "give everything he's got" to be Chris Cooley for a year. I, on the other hand, am a nobody. Dale Earnhardt Jr. wouldn't want to be me for 10 minutes -- even if I was playing a NASCAR video game as him.

This proves two things. The first, I won't be going back to cover any more days of training camp. Why bother? I can't do any better than this. And two, I will most certainly draft Cooley on my fantasy football team. If he's willing to show some love to a nobody keeping him from the nice, air conditioned building to ask stupid questions about the 'Skins' Ultimate Fighter, then the least I can do is use my first-round pick on him.

the redskins' ultimate fighter

2008-07-21T08:10:00.004-04:00

This past Saturday night, Anderson "The Spider" Silva showed why he is the best mixed martial arts fighter in the world, putting James "The Sandman" Irvin to sleep without breaking a sweat during a UFC event on Spike TV.

Just one minute into the bout, Irvin attempted to sweep kick Silva. Unfortunately for him, the Brazilian caught Irvin's foot with a left hand and with the challenger now completely defenseless, drove a crushing blow into "The Sandman's" face. Game over. Thank you and good night.

That got me thinking, with Redskins training camp less than 24 hours away, I wondered which 'Skins player would be crowned the Ultimate Fighting Champion if they had a tournament at Redskins Park.

Would it be a fan favorite like "Iron" Mike Sellers? Or maybe a chiseled monster like Andre Carter? Or possibly even Clinton Portis, who famously sported a WCW championship belt on the sidelines while playing for the Denver Broncos? The possibilities seemed endless.

So while the rest of the beat reporters and talking heads were asking the generic stuff, I was busy conducting an informal poll among the players as to who they think would be the last man standing. Here's the funny thing, none of the six guys I interviewed Sunday afternoon were even remotely thrown off by my "Who would be the Redskins' Ultimate Fighter Champion" question. Either they've gotten used to me over the last four seasons or this is something the guys have talked about in the locker room at some point.

The first guy I talked to was Casey Rabach, who is consistently one of the most enjoyable interviews on the team. First I asked him who would win, and then followed up by asking if it'd be a big guy like Mike Sellers or maybe a smaller, quicker guy.

"Sellers is a big [rhymes with wussy]," Rabach said.

I actually looked around to see if I was in the line of fire, just in case Sellers heard him.

"You know what, it'd probably be some crazy-ass [sounds like mother-father]," Rabach continued. "I'd probably put my money on someone who ain't got a lot between the ears, that's got some stamina ... yeah, LaRon Landry might pull that one out."

Chalk one vote for Landry.

"Honestly, I don't know. Marcus seems like the UFC type, so maybe Marcus," said Ladell Betts, of linebacker Marcus Washington. "I think Marcus is one of the tough guys on the team."

One vote for Landry, and one vote for Washington.

"Weight class?" asked Antwaan Randel El.

No weight classes, I replied.

After throwing around a couple different names, Randel El eventually settled on Marcus Washington.

"He'd be like a crazy man in there," he said.

Two votes for Washington. One for Landry.

With the players giving him support, I decided to seek out Washington to see who he thought would come out on top.

"I like to think I might get this belt," Marcus said. "I think I might get in there and represent for the 'Skins."

I asked what kind of fighter Washington would be, and without hesitation he replied "I'd be a Kimbo Slice, just a street brawler, you know."

That's three votes for Washington. One for Landry.

"Probably Mike Sellers," said Jason Campbell.

When I informed him that he was the first person to vote for "Iron" Mike, he said "I wonder whose getting the love? You gotta have a wild guy to win the Ultimate Fighter."

"Someone told me you gotta have a guy who is pretty wild, but doesn't have much between the ears," I said.

"Then I'd probably say LaRon Landry," Campbell said with a laugh.

That's three votes for Washington. Two votes for (and two shots at) Landry.

Finally, I track down Captain Chaos himself, Chris Cooley. After all, if we're going to ask a bizarre question, we've got to ask the most unpredictable guy on the roster.

"Honestly, that's a great question and I don't want to give myself props, but I was an All-American wrestler in high school and I think I'd have a pretty good chance."

And unlike Rabach, Cooley had kind things to say about his tough-guy teammate.

"Mike Sellers would be tough, and I wouldn't want to get punched in the face by Mike," he said.

I tried to track down Sellers, but he had already headed inside to lift weights. So we'll have to wait another day or two for his official opinions in regards to the Redskins Ultimate Fighter title, and possibly even a comment about a certain starting center who, for his safety, may have to hide in an RV the rest of training camp. But for today, we crown Marcus Washington the team's Ultimate Fighter.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

take it to the bank

2008-07-19T06:55:00.001-04:00

If you haven't figured out by now, Ryan O'Halloran of The Washington Times, is one of the best beat writers in town. If you don't believe me, go check out his latest contribution, a highly-enjoyable feature story on Chris Cooley from earlier this week. If you also haven't figured out by now, I'm a complete hack. I watch a bunch of sports on TV or play a couple of video games, and suddenly I think I'm qualified to drive NASCAR tracks and rip the local baseball general manager who may or may not be under federal investigation.

To make up for the fact that you, the loyal readers, must put up with my incessant ramblings and mindless drivel on a regular basis, Ryan has graciously agreed to class up the joint by answering the top five questions the Washington Redskins face heading into training camp. Without further adeu, here we go:

1. Jim Zorn is a rookie head coach with roughly two weeks of offensive coordinator experience. What can we reasonably expect from the Z-man in his inaugural season?

Ryan: A major transition for the entire organization. If Zorn had even a season of coordinating experience, he would have had a chance to oversee half of the roster. In Seattle, he was responsible for three of the 53 players. Now he has to oversee a roster, a coaching staff, coach quarterbacks, call plays and deal with the media. That's a awful hefty load. What I expect to see is an innovative offense that uses all of its weapons (Al Saunders was never allowed to do that). I also expect some games where Zorn acts like a first-year head coach and makes questionable decisions.

2. Like Zorn, Vinny Cerrato find himself in a new situation, now that he’s “the guy” when it comes to the front office. How much involvement did Cerrato have with some of the recent late-round draft picks (Montgomery, Doughty, etc.) and undrafted rookie free agents, and how confident should ‘Skins fans be with Vinny calling the shots?

Ryan: Cerrato's impact on drafting second-day players is a million dollar question. Gregg Williams' defensive staff scoured the country along with the team's scouts during the pre Draft process. One positive for Vinny is that he hasn't really screwed up a first-round pick. But the decisions by the front office in the draft room has left a lot to be desired. If Snyder/Cerrato really mean they're turning over a new philosophical leaf, they have to draft better. Redskins fans aren't going to cut Vinny much slack. I'm sure many were as puzzled as those in the media with the promotion before they actually hired a head coach. The fans should be in show-me-Vinny mode.

3. While the head coach is new, most of the players are not. This is a veteran team that has made the playoffs two out of the last three seasons. Does this team have what it takes to compete in the always competitive NFC East and an improving NFC, or should fans temper their expectations as the team adjusts to the new regime?

Ryan: While hardly any of the players are new, expectations for a team should be lowered anytime there's a new head coach, two new coordinators and a new passing game. That's not continuity. That's transition and basically starting over. And that's fine -- obviously Snyder wasn't comfortable handing the keys of the his kingdom to Williams. The Redskins might win only six or seven games but their talent could be better than that -- the NFC East is that tough. Right now, I'd tab them to finish last in the division.

4. Where do the Redskins have the most depth and where is the biggest area of concern heading into the season?

The most depth: Quarterback because Todd Collins showed last year he has a few bullets left in his 36-year old throwing arm. Running back because Ladell Betts proved to be a solid every-down player when Clinton Portis missed the final half of the 2006 season. Safety: LaRon Landry, Reed Doughty, Stuart Schweigert and Vernon Fox all have NFL starting experience.

The biggest area of concern: Attrition along the offensive and defensive lines. Both sides are aging, don't have a ton of depth and do have a long injury history. Linebacker: The back-ups are Khary Campbell, H.B. Blades and Matt Sinclair. Cornerback: If Carlos Rogers starts the season on the shelf, the Redskins could be in trouble.

5. If you had to pick one Redskins player, who is most likely poised for a breakout season? Why?

Safety LaRon Landry. I got ripped pretty good for this last year but I think Landry is light years ahead of where Sean Taylor was at the same point of their career. Landry is athletically gifted like Taylor but, entering his second season, is already excellent at anticipating plays, making up for a teammates' mistake/blown assignment and sending messages with physical play. He might not make the Pro Bowl this season but he'll turn out to be the defense's best player.

For more of O'Halloran's work, check out the Redskins 360 blog.

something about brett

2008-07-15T08:54:00.007-04:00

Dave Elfin, of The Washington Times, poses the question in today's paper - could the burgundy and gold make a play for future Hall of Fame quarterback Brett Favre?

How about a trade to a team that has gone eight seasons without a Pro Bowl quarterback, has an inexperienced starter who grew up idolizing his fellow Mississippian and has an owner with an expansive checkbook?

Yes, the Washington Redskins. Envisioning Brett in burgundy yet?

Redskins owner Dan Snyder just might be, though NFL sources believe it is highly unlikely to happen.

While it makes for entertaining copy and might sell an extra newspaper or two, I'm sorry to say it just ain't going to happen. If the 'Skins weren't absolutely committed to that "fellow Mississippian," Jason Campbell, then I could see it. But they've basically come out and said, "We're going to give Jason every chance to be our franchise quarterback." I mean, Todd "The Tasty Drink" Collins came in last season after Campbell was injured during the Chicago Bears game and closed out the regular season with five-straight wins when anything less would have ended their season, and it's as if he was never even an option. Campbell is the starter. End of discussion. (Well ... unless Peyton Manning or Tom Brady somehow became available).

A couple other quick hits about Favre:

1. It's his right to want to play as long as he wants, and it's the team's right to want to move on. The problem comes if/when the Packers want to move on, but don't want to release him. No one thinks Favre will be a backup to unproven quarterback-in-waiting Aaron Rodgers. And if he somehow did agree to it, the very first incomplete pass from Rodgers will be met with a chorus of "WE WANT FAVRE!" from the Cheeseheads.

2. With Favre on the cover of the Madden '09 video game, whoever ends up with Brett will have to know the Madden Curse will be heading into town with him. But here's a question for you - if Favre stays retired and the curse can't get him, does that mean it transfers to Tony Romo (a.k.a. - John Madden's next object of desire)? And speaking of Romo, is he really planning on heading into the season without former gal pal Jessica Simpson? In the immortal words of Weezer, "Say it ain't so."

3. If he does stay retired, can we see him reunite with the Farrelly Brothers for a follow-up to "There's Something About Mary?"

breaking the ice

2008-07-14T15:44:00.002-04:00

Ted Leonsis, owner of the Washington Capitals and the most accessible sports owner this side of Mark Cuban, has focused an entire blog post on something called the Capitals Spirit Squad, in which he goes to great lengths to assure those concerned that these fine folks will not be "ice girls." He went on to explain what these people will do, but to be honest - no one cares.

My question for you is this - when did "ice girls" become bad people? Raise your hand if you'd rather see a handful of youngsters playing glorified pond hockey during intermission rather than scantily-clad sluts with ice shovels? Again, we're raising hands for kids versus sluts.

If your neighbor just raised their hands, then please, put a sign in their front yard or alert Chris Hansen.

braves on the warpath

2008-07-11T15:35:00.005-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

The great Joseph White, he of The Associated Press, reports that the Washington Redskins picked up their first victory of 2008, and did it in an unlikely venue:

WASHINGTON -- A federal judge has sided with the Washington Redskins in a lawsuit brought by American Indians who consider the team's name racially offensive.

A group of Native Americans has been trying to get the courts to cancel the Redskins' trademark so that the team could no longer market its name.

But a U.S. district judge in Washington says the plaintiffs waited too long to bring their case to court. She added that her ruling does not decide "the appropriateness of Native American imagery for team names."

I don't want to overstate things, but this is awesome. No seriously, it's awesome. We live in a world where people suck, and are offended by everything. People come up with just about any reason to protest in this politically correct world we force ourselves to live in, and for once, Johnny Law got it right.

It's not often that common sense and the government are on the same page, but for one day, all is right in the universe. Happy weekend, folks.

caption this

2008-07-11T09:12:00.005-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Today seems to be a slow news day, so just for the heck of it, I invite you all to provide your best caption for this photo I took last year just before halftime of the Washington Redskins-Chicago Bears game at FedEx Field.

I'll get us started with my humble offering:

"When I said let's play dress up, this is NOT what I had in mind!"

or how about:

"Don Breaux and Billy Baldwin have a friendship like no other."

[Update: We have a winner. Milhouse44 takes 'best in show' with the following caption: "The Fed Ex Field fans don't know to shut up on offensive 3rd Downs and they just started 'The Wave' in the Upper Deck.....just take me home Rudolph." Thanks to everyone for the creative comments. We'll have to do this again.]

the next big thing

2008-07-10T13:02:00.006-04:00

(courtesy photo)

Lately, I've been hearing grumblings from a lot of restless sports fans because they feel there's nothing worth tuning in for during these dog days of summer. Football training camps are still a month away, most NBA and NHL teams have no money or no interest in the free agents available and even Tiger Woods can't be bothered to show up for his own golf tournament. So unless you're a diehard baseball purist who enjoys 18-17 pitcher's duels, you're pretty much out of luck. Or so they say.

While most folks were forced to watch the Serena and Venus battle in the "women's" final at Wimbledon or Kyle Busch win another NASCAR race, I was at my local watering hole watching the most exciting sporting event of the weekend, the Ultimate Fighting Championship's UFC 86 pay-per-view.

So in honor of the octagon, here are eight reasons why folks should tune in and see what they're missing with the UFC:

1. Joe Rogan - You may remember him from such hits as Fear Factor and News Radio, but Rogan is the color commentator for UFC broadcasts. And much like when he's at a Carlos Mencia comedy show, Rogan's not afraid to call people out when he feels it's warranted.

But don't think that Joe's just brought in because he's a Hollywood name. No, the man knows his stuff. That's probably because he first started mixed martial arts at the age of 13.

Fun fact: Rogan can probably kick your ass - he's a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsui.

2. The Octagon Girls - Click this link.

Fun fact: Nuf' said.

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Click here for the rest of the article.

just another day at the office

2008-07-10T09:47:00.002-04:00

If you were even remotely surprised that Elton Brand left the Los Angeles Clippers at the alter for a bigger payday (a five-year, $79.8 million contract) from the mediocre Philadelphia 76ers, then you, my friend, are a moron.

That because, as a general rule, professionals athletes will almost always take the money and run. To me, this is as newsworthy as Britney Spears leaving the house without panties or an Olsen twin with an eating disorder. The fact that people are pretending to be shocked is absurd. Riddle me this Batman, if the guy wanted to truly stay with the Clippers, then why did he opt out of his contract in the first place?

And while we're on the subject, if you think Gilbert Arenas did something noble by "giving money back to the organization," then you too, are a moron. Arenas didn't do anything. He was played perfectly by Wiz general manager "Big" Ernie Grunsfeld, who was able to stroke Gilbert's ego by offering a max contract when free agency kicked off at 12:01 a.m., but also put heat on Agent Zero by saying, "If you take the max deal, we won't be able to bring in another player for the next several years."

If Arenas was really giving the Wizards some sort of hometown discount, he'd have taken half the money he did and truly put them in a position to build a championship caliber roster. As previously stated on this blog, this team is capable of making the playoffs and nothing more. Arenas, Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison are solid players and fun to watch, but they're never going to be a threat to the handful of teams actually able to contend for a championship year in and year out. Winning teams score points in the paint and play sound defense, two areas this team has no interest in improving upon. But with the bar being set so low after years of Wes Unseld at the wheel, anything Grunsfeld does is an improvement - including the annual one-and-done playoff routine the Wiz and Cleveland Cavaliers have worked out.

long live the ladies' man

2008-07-09T11:31:00.003-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

When you want it done right, you gotta go north of the border.

While that may not be the case in most instances, it definitely applies to all things hockey. And that is why, I would like to turn your attention to a few articles currently featured on the TSN Canada website (think ESPN, without the suck). For starters, the Washington Capitals have re-signed Brooks "Ladies' Man" Laich to a three-year deal worth a little over $6 million. On top of that, TSN is also reporting that the Caps have re-signed Sergei Federov to a one-year deal worth $4 million. This, my friends, is what we in the business call "great news."

Laich, whom some of you may remember the Caps acquired in the Peter Bondra deal, posted career highs in goals (21), assists (16) and points (37) last year. And while the ladies may love him for different reasons, Caps fans embraced the 25-year-old for being one of the few players in our nation's capitals who showed a consistent willingness to post up in front of the net, even if it meant taking a beating from opposing defensemen. On a team largely comprised of finesse players, Laich isn't afraid of doing the dirty work.

Speaking of finesse players, how great is it to have Federov back in town? The 17-year-veteran may have only been a Capital since the trade deadline, but I've yet to find a Caps fan who didn't want him back for another season. The guy will forget more about hockey than most players will ever know, and the fact that he'll head into next season as the third center (behind Nicklas Backstrom and Michael Nylander) is a wonderful luxury that most teams simply cannot afford.

And finally, I would like to direct your attention to this feature story on the Capitals' next star, Karl Alzner. If you're looking for a young stud defenseman to complement Alex Ovechkin and friends, this is your man. As a member of the Calgary Hitmen of the Western Hockey League, Alzner earned defenseman of the year and player of the year honors. Oh, and he captained Canada's gold-winning squad at the world junior tournament too. Needless to say, this guy is the real deal.

Unlike the Nationals, the Caps are quickly becoming must-see TV.

way down in the hole

2008-07-08T12:42:00.003-04:00

Thom Loverro of The Washington Times has an interesting interview on his blog with David Simon, the brilliant mind who created "The Wire." Apparently the two gentlemen worked together nearly 20 years ago at The Sun. That doesn't really matter to me, but anyone who does know me knows I'm a huge fan of Simon's work, especially "The Wire." In fact, my brother and I have interviewed seemingly half the cast of the show over the course of it's five seasons - "Cutty" Wise, Sgt. Jay Landsman, Chris Partlow, "Wee-Bey" Brice, Senator Clay Davis, Maury Levy, Cedric Daniels (twice), Omar Little (twice) and "Bunny" Colvin.

While we're sad that "The Wire" is gone, we still are very much fans of Simon's work, and are looking forward to his upcoming HBO miniseries, called "Generation Kill." This interview with Loverro is interesting because it focuses on sports, which you don't get to see Simon talk much about. Some of the highlights include:

- Simon grew up a Washington Senators fan, but grew to like the Baltimore Orioles.
- He's won his fantasy baseball league five out of the last eight years, and would like to make a baseball movie one day.
- Oh, and he's not a fan of Bud Selig and the "powers that be" in Major League Baseball after turning down a request to film a scene from season five at Camden Yards. I'll let Simon take over from here:

"But let me say this about the official side of Major League Baseball: They can kiss my pale, white ass. Seriously. Although that sequence reflected in no negative way on baseball itself -- a reporter was making up a story about a handicapped fan for his own benefit -- MLB considered our request to film on stadium property and use MLB logos and then denied the request. Unless our drama pretty much exalts baseball as the greatest game ever played by the greatest bunch of people ever to play a game, MLB will not allow the use of its logos or facilities in any act of storytelling. I find this cowardly and venal and offensive. A game that claims to be the national pastime should be confident enough and respectful enough of independent storytelling to allow itself to be seen within the context of ordinary American life. The script that we showed to MLB said nothing at all negative about the game itself; it showed a reporter being dishonest. But even that dynamic was too scary for the gutless, lawyerly humps who surround the commissioner's office. Apparently, baseball can only be depicted as a part of American life when it is glorified or marketed in the most wholesome manner."

Simon even admits to adding a couple of potshots directed at Bud Selig later on because of baseball's unwillingness to cooperate with the Scott Templeton storyline. Considering the whole point was that this journalist was making up stories and quotes and they were just using opening day in the local market to show how unethical Templeton was, it really does make you wonder why MLB would shoot it down. Either way, I've always been a fan of David Simon, and never cared for Bud Selig, so it's all-too predictable that I'd run something here.

(the other) alexander the great

2008-07-07T09:21:00.001-04:00

(This is the second of a five-part series on the biggest surprises of the 2007 season. Click here for the Anthony Montgomery spotlight).

How many players make such a lasting impression on a fan that they can remember exactly where they were and what they were doing the moment this guy arrived on the scene? Not very many.

But there’s no doubt, when it comes to Lorenzo Alexander, the chubby-faced University of California alum, the exact moment when he etched his name into the memories of Redskins fans.

It was Saturday, August 11, and the ‘Skins were in Nashville to take on the Titans in an otherwise irrelevant preseason game. I, on the other hand, was at my buddy Dave’s house, enjoying an ice-cold Stone Mill Pale Ale while catching up with my old roommate. The rookie defensive tackle showed what he's made of when he lost his helmet, but was still able to chase down Titans quarterback Tim Rattay. He collided with a teammate and ended up needing six stitches, but that one play may have been enough proof to the 'Skins coaching staff that the former practice squad player was worthy of a roster spot while simultaneously earning him cult status among the rabid Redskins fanbase.

His response? “My mom’s just happy I have all my teeth,” Alexander said.

But that was only the beginning. Once he secured a place on the 53-man roster, Alexander continued his unlikely climb from former undrafted free agent to vital member of a playoff team. While he earned his place as a defensive tackle, the coaching staff saw something in the 6'1" and 300 lb. defensive lineman. Next thing you know, Alexander is taking snaps in practice as the sixth offensive lineman in the team's jumbo package.

For the season, Alexander was officially credited with four tackles in the 13 games he played in. But simple stats don't do the man justice. By the time the season ended, Alexander played defensive tackle, offensive guard, tight end, fullback and special teams for the Redskins, making him a rare triple threat in the modern NFL. A Joe Gibbs team always needs players that are super smart who are willing to fight their guts out. Clearly, Alexander was meant to play for the Hall of Fame coach.

I was able to chat with Alexander after the heart-breaking loss to the Bills, and again after the 'Skins season ended with a playoff loss to the Seahawks. I asked this guy for an interview less than a week after losing a friend and teammate to senseless violence and again minutes after his team's season ended, and yet, both times I walked away thinking to myself that he's a likable, stand-up guy. While others may be willing to make excuses or disappear from the locker room before the media is allowed in, Alexander was always available during both the good and the bad.

During this offseason, when I've seen Alexander around Redskins Park, I've often joked with him that I need to be his agent because he's the hardest working man in the NFL, willing and able to play iron man football. He's always laughs and says he enjoys playing both offense and defense, and that he hopes the team continues to let him go both ways.

And when he's not at the Park, Lorenzo is still keeping busy. In June, he headed back home to California to host the Lorenzo Alexander ACES Foundation "Hold the Line'' Football Camp, a free camp for 200 or so youngsters. It's fitting Alexander would make time for the next generation of football players, because if we were making a list of players who these young men should model their games after, he'd definitely make the list.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

never a dull moment

2008-07-02T07:53:00.000-04:00

A day after the Wizards brought back Antawn Jamison, the Capitals stepped up and re-signed a vital piece of their roster, by inking offensive defenseman Mike Green to a four-year, $21 million contract. The budding superstar led the NHL in scoring by a defenseman, and although he was a restricted free agent, other teams were still very much interested in the youngster. That's probably because at 22 years old, Green was the youngest player to lead defensemen in goals since Paul Coffey back in 1981-82.

With lesser names earning bigger bucks on day one of free agency, the longer this dragged out, the more costly it would have been for the home team. There's always going to be a need for a blueliner who can play defense and light the lamp, and the Caps should be commended for getting this done quickly.

Then, came the big swerve of the day - the Caps signed Colorado Avs goalie Jose Theodore to a two-year, $9 million deal. This happened because Christobal Huet, the guy the team traded for Feb. 26th last season, spurned the team in order to grab a few extra bucks elsewhere. Turns out that Caps general manager George McPhee called Huet's people and said, "We want Huet back in town, so what's it going to take to get this done?" Huet's agent said they were looking for a three-year, $15 million deal, and so that's what McPhee offered them. Instead of taking the offer they asked for, they shopped it around for more money, ultimately netted a four-year, $22 million deal courtesy of the Chicago Blackhawks. Feeling used, Capitals owner Ted Leonsis blogged to let folks know that the only reason Huet left town is greed, and not because of a lack of effort on the team's part.

Rounding out the day, former face of the franchise Olaf Kolzig signed a one-year deal with the Tampa Bay Lightning worth $1.5 million plus incentives. I love Olie, but I can't help but think he and former Caps captain Jeff Halpern can room together on the road next season and enjoy another year of playing on a rebuilding hockey team. At least new coach/old talking head Barry Melrose will be able to break down their post-game highlights after losing another 6-2 game to teams actually capable of playing defense.

All in all, things worked out well for the Caps. They got one of the two guys they targeted, but more impressively, the moved quickly to lock in Theodore as soon as they figured out Huet was playing games. There were only two game-changing goalies available this offseason, so when one guy tried to screw them over, McPhee acted swiftly and brought in a former Vezina Trophy and NHL most valuable player. As far as backup plans go, that's about as good as it gets. And for a team that promised to be quiet this offseason, that's an awfully exciting day one.

All that's left to do before next season is:

1. Re-sign Brooks Laich for me.
2. Re-sign Sergei Federov for my main man, Steve.
3. Take Brian Pothier out back, shoot him and put him out of his misery (and more importantly, get his $2.5-million deal off of the books).

burning the midnight oil

2008-07-01T09:44:00.004-04:00

Ivan Carter of The Washington Post is getting it done.

On the first night of free agency, Carter earned every penny they pay him when he cranked out a blog post at roughly 3 a.m. shedding some light on the initial craziness. I highly suggest you click the link to read the posting, but here are a few highlights:

- Baron Davis opted out of the final year of his contract with the Golden State Warriors, which would have paid him nearly $18 million. Five hours later, Carter reported that word on the street is that Davis will join my man, Elton Brand, on the Clippers next season.

- Within 30 minutes of the start of free agency, the Warriors, who now have money to spend, put in a call to Gilbert Arenas and offered him a maximum-level contract of five years and more than $100 million. Guess it's safe to say the Warriors regret ever letting Gil leave in the first place.

- After locking up Antawn Jamison, Wizards general manager Ernie Grunsfeld offered Arenas a maximum six year, $124 million deal. Grunsfeld apparently also laid it all on the line, telling Gilbert that if he takes the max deal, then the Wiz offseason is essentially over. There will be no money to retain Roger Mason Jr., or to pick up any other pieces to round out the roster.

- The final nugget from Carter is that the Sacramento Kings, who haven't been noteworthy since Chris Webber was still good, apparently want Agent Zero so badly that they're allegedly willing to trade away their entire team if need be to make room for him.

That's a lot of good stuff, especially considering that this is a weak free agent class and the only other news of the day is that Tiger Woods won't be coming to town.

step one: collect underpants

2008-06-30T14:42:00.002-04:00

Do you remember the Underpants Gnomes from South Park? They're memorable because the had a three-phase business plan that they were convinced would make them lots of cash. Here's pretty much how it broke down:

1. Collect underpants
2. ?
3. Profit

I bring this up because it reminds me of the situation the Washington Wizards currently find themselves in. I'm not making any bold statements by saying their current roster revolves around three players -- Gilbert Arenas, Antawn Jamison and Caron Butler. And this hasn't been a bad business plan, seeing as this team has made the NBA playoffs in each of the last four seasons, something previous incarnations of the Bullets/Wiz Kids couldn't always say. But this offseason, general manager Ernie Grunfeld has to make a decision. Should he re-sign Arenas and Jamison, both of which are free agents, or should he take the team in a different direction. Compounding matters, Agent Zero has no agent, and has said that if the Wiz would like to keep him in town, they must first bring back Jamison.

So essentially, Ernie's looking at this business plan:

1. Re-sign Antawn Jamison.
2. ?
3. Re-sign Gilbert Arenas.

We put the question mark there because nothing is certain with Gilbert. He could wake up tomorrow, decide to flip another coin and take a mid-level exemption to play in Toronto. Seriously, nothing should surprise folks about this guy anymore. And more importantly, what is Big Ern trying to accomplish with this team? If he wants an entertaining team that can make the playoffs, but get bounced in the first round annually, then it makes sense to bring both Arenas and Jamison back. If he plans on actually trying to win a championship ... well ... this ain't the team to bet on.

Scanning the pages of the Worldwide Leader in Sports, they're reporting that the Wiz have basically wrapped up Jamison to a new four-year, $50 million deal. I have no problem with that. On a team of hotdogs and showboats, he's the voice of reason. He's the guy who would rather his team do less talking and more winning. A knucklehead like Andray Blatche needs a role model like Jamison in his ear (as opposed to a hooker in his ear). I'm just not sure Arenas is the answer. Call me crazy, but when an entire team plays one way, and the superstar plays another ... well, that's not a good thing. I'd work the phone and pull off a sign and trade with the Clippers for Elton Brand. Both players are in the same salary ballpark and both are coming off of injuries. The difference, Brand gets guaranteed points in the paint - something this team of jump shooters sorely needs.

Arenas is talented, charming and fun to watch, but he's also a coach's nightmare. The Clippers aren't going to win any championships, so he'd be perfect back in California, where he could battle Kobe Bryant and the Lakers for most entertaining act in town. Meanwhile, the Wizards could use Brand and the Wizards players who actually buy into a team concept to try and advance to the second round of the playoffs. It's so crazy, it just may work.

draft recap: the wiz

2008-06-27T10:08:00.002-04:00

The Washington Wizards used their first round draft pick, 18th overall, to select JaVale McGee, out of Nevada. He's a seven footer, who weighs in at around 240 lbs., and apparently has the wingspan of a Buick. Doing a little homework, I've seen him compared to Portland Trail Blazers forward Channing Frye and Los Angeles Lakers center Andrew Bynum, although Bynum outweighs him by roughly 35 lbs.

"Very talented," said Jay Bilas, when describing McGee during ESPN's NBA draft coverage. "He's got good shot mechanics, he can step away and hit the little soft turnaround jumper and he uses the glass really well. He needs to move his feet a little bit better, but he's got a lot of potential."

And even though the panel of experts covering the draft considered McGee to the Wiz a little bit of a reach (Chad Ford had him ranked the 26th-best prospect), basketball apologist Michael Wilbon loved the pick. Not surprisingly, I don't agree with him.

Wilbon wrote that getting a legit big man was priority number one because "anybody who spent any time watching the Washington Wizards over the last four years could see the Wizards weren't big enough, strong enough or physically tough enough to be a serious playoff contender."

While McGee excels as a shot blocker, (he told one beat writer, "If I were in a video game right now, shotblocking would be a 90") one of his biggest weaknesses is his one-on-one defense. On top of that, the words "project" and "raw" are word commonly used to describe McGee.

The Wiz don't need a guy who can help them three or four years from now. They have a stack of big bodies, including Brendan Haywood, Etan Thomas, Andray Blatche, Darius Songalia and Oleksiy Pecherov. What they need is either a back-up point guard or someone who is an above-average defender (or best-case scenario, a back-up point guard who plays above-average defense). D.C. is full of projects (in more ways than one). They could have done without McGee, who is described by his hometown newspaper as not ready for prime time. Sure, he's got potential, but as a wise man once told me -- "Potential is just another way of sayin', ain't done shit yet."

That nifty photo at the top of this entry is a shot I took earlier this year of Georgetown center Roy Hibbert, who was drafted one spot before the Wizards were on the clock. If the hometown team was going to have to coach up a youngster with potential, it would have been much more enjoyable if it were Hibbert.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

odds and ends

2008-06-26T14:48:00.002-04:00

Not much to share with the class today, but here's a few things to help kill some time on a Thursday afternoon.

For starters, we have my bi-weekly Hobotrashcan column, called Note to Self. This week, I'm a little angry at the sports world and decide to vent. Everyone from Don Imus to Kobe Bryant to Barry Melrose to Jim Bowden is in my sights this time around, so I hope you enjoy.

Once you plow through that, there's a Washington Times feature story on the blacksheep Ovechkin. Alex's brother Mikhail is profiled, but really, we don't learn much about the 26-year-old other than he works for the Mystics and he chain smokes. This is roughly a halfstep away from living in a van, down by the river.

WUSA Channel 9 has video of Shaun "Shazam" Suisham "kicking an amazing 110-yard fieldgoal." Since I've seen him blow 'em from half that distance with the game on the line, I'll go ahead an say this might not be 100 percent real. If nothing else though, it gives me an excuse to post this awesomely legit video of Jason Campbell from last year, completely two passes like you've never seen before.

And even though I took a potshot at Suisham, at least he's capable of actually making a fieldgoal in his video. Arizona Cardinals kicker Neil Rackers shanks four fieldgoal attempts in this video, and then actually looks pleased with himself. Let me just say, Rackers wasn't so quick to pat himself on the back when I was standing next to him last season after he blew a chance to beat the Redskins on a last-second fieldgoal at FedEx Field.

zorn to be wild

2008-06-24T12:31:00.002-04:00

Let me start by saying, we're absolutely in the leanest portion of the football offseason. Training camp is still a month away and there aren't even OTAs to help pass the time. With the NBA and NHL seasons concluded, it's pretty much baseball or nothing. Since baseball in D.C. is nothing, here's something to help pass the time.

A popular topic on some of the Redskins message boards, is the topic of "What can we expect from Jim Zorn?" Because he is of the people and for the people, Ryan O'Halloran of The Washington Times was kind enough to email me with a detailed breakdown of just what kind of offense Jim Zorn called back in January when the Seahawks defeated the Redskins 35-14.

Seattle offensive formations vs. Redskins in playoff game (54 snaps total)

3WR-1RB: 17 times
4WR-1RB: 14 times
3WR-2RB: 10 times
2WR-2RB: 8 times
1WR-2RB: 4 times* (three of which came after taking 28-14 lead)
5WR: 1 time

Looking at this breakdown, would it be fair to surmise that there actually might be enough touches to go around for Santana Moss, Antwaan Randle El and a occasional rookie wide out, as well as Clinton Portis, Chris Cooley and a certain rookie tight end with a faulty alarm clock?

[Update: Turns out that Ryan actually put together a post using all of his great research. Go show him some love, so he'll continue to provide goods like this down the line].

nat pack: the team

2008-06-24T09:31:00.007-04:00

Remember when Ryan Zimmerman christened the brand-new Nats Park with a game-winning solo home run with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning? Or that this 2008 squad actually started the season 3-0? Yeah, we didn't think so.

That's because the Nats went 9-17 in the month of April and haven't been any better since. It hurts to say it, but by my estimation, the current roster is the fourth reason to go to a ballgame in D.C. these days. First, you've got the new park. Second, you've got the racing presidents. Third, you've got the shirts vs. skins controversy. And finally, you have this rag-tag bunch that general manager Jim Bowden slapped together (and yet, has somehow managed to keep his job).

Warning: this is the paragraph that hurts.

The Nats have the second worst record in the majors. They've scored the fewest and have allowed the third most runs in the big leagues. In fact, only two players are currently batting over .300 this season (Christian Guzman and Jesus Flores), and Zimmerman leads the team with a measly eight homers, even though he's played 26 games less than the next guy in line. And they're not getting better with age -- they're currently 6-15 in the month of June. One could argue that right now, there are a grand total of three players on the Nats worth watching -- Chad Cordero, Zimmerman and Flores. That's it.

This is the part where I focus on a fairly simple statement that I feel needs to be reiterated -- D.C. went without a baseball team from 1972 until 2005. Hardcore sports fans will still be around, but people aren't really used to having a home team in the District, so if you want to attract new fans you actually have to give them something worth caring about. That doesn't mean bringing in every single "I'm over-the-hill and clutching on to my last chance to play in the majors" sob story or players who need a change of scenery (as long as their legal troubles still allow them to leave the state).

While Kobe Bryant has been busy "instilling his DNA into the rest of the team," the Nats have no such luck. This is a team with no payroll, no identity and no real reason for optimism over the next few years. Because a bunch of no-namers have overachieved, Bowden continues to trot out pitchers who should not actually be allowed to collect a big-league paycheck. That's why no one in their starting rotation will be confused with an ace, or even a number two pitcher on an actual major league roster. They're currently 26th in baseball in ERA, and some might say they're playing better than their talent would suggest they're able of sustaining.

And don't think that the pitching is the only issue. It's actually better than the hitting. The Nats bats scored a grand total of one, I repeat -- ONE FREAKING RUN -- over 27 innings earlier this month. They're so pitiful that local newspapers coverage actually applauded the team for not losing the night they were rained out. I'm not talking about columnists trying to be funny, I'm talking about beat writers connecting on more shots than the Nats offense. These guys are in need of something drastic (i.e. - talent). In the absence of that, I'd at least suggest a slump buster.

To be fair, last year's draft was considering very strong and early reports are that Missouri pitcher Aaron Crow, whom the Nats drafted this year, might be the best college pitcher in the draft, but these guys are a long way away from contributing. Anyone in the organization within earshot of a microphone or tape recorder toes the company line and says, "We're trying to build a team that will be competitive for more than just one year." And that's understandable. I'm just saying you're not going to run fans off by winning games in the interim.

I'll leave you with one final (and sobering) fact. At 221 lbs., the 2008 Washington Nationals are the second fattest team in baseball (behind only the White Sox at 227 lbs.) As a team, they average 23 lbs. more per person than the Kansas City Royals. Congrats Jim Bowden, you've built a team of fatties who can't actually hit home runs. Am I wrong for thinking this is some sort of cruel joke?

Overall grade: D

baseball & football

2008-06-23T15:10:00.003-04:00

By George Carlin (1937-2008)

Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.

Also: in football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.

In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform, you'd know the reason for this custom.

Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball and football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.

I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog ...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch.
Football has the two-minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least 27 times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!

hail

2008-06-17T09:45:00.003-04:00

I got a press release in my inbox late yesterday that I felt needs to be shared with the class.

------

The Washington Redskins announced Monday that the Redskins Broadcast Network won three 2007 Emmy Awards at the 50th Annual Awards Gala on Saturday, June 14 in Washington, D.C. This marks the team’s first-ever Emmy Award and nomination since the debut of the Redskins Broadcast Network in 2005. The Redskins were nominated for three Emmy Awards and won in all three categories.

“We are very proud of this honor,” said Mitch Gershman, Chief Operating Officer of the Washington Redskins. “These shows and broadcasts provide our fans with great content, live game action and a unique perspective of Redskins history.”

The Redskins Broadcast Network won 2007 Emmy Awards in the following categories:

- Sports – One-Time Special - 75 Years of Redskins Football Built on Tradition
- Sports – Program Feature Segment - Remembering #21
- Sports Event/Game – Live/Unedited – Redskins vs. Steelers, NFL Preseason Football

75 years of Redskins Football Built on Tradition, narrated by CNN broadcasting legend Bernard Shaw, chronicled the greatest moments in Washington Redskins history. This one-hour documentary was produced by Larry Michael, Executive Producer, Tim DeLaney, Senior Producer and Marc Dress, Director of Photography/Lighting Director.

“The Redskins lived this story, we merely consolidated the impact,” Shaw said. “We are grateful for the ending.”

Remembering # 21, a special tribute regarding the untimely death of Pro Bowl safety Sean Taylor, and The Redskins vs. Steelers, NFL Preseason Football game were also honored. Michael and DeLaney served as executive and senior producers, respectively. Brad Baker was an assistant producer on Remembering # 21.

------

Let me take a minute to congratulate Larry Michael, Marc Dress, Tim DeLaney and Brad Baker. Over the last couple of years I had the chance to get to know each of these fine gentlemen (and Marc), and mean it when I say this is all well deserved. The Sean Taylor tribute video, in particular, was so amazing that I saw beat reporters in tears. These are people who get paid to cover the team - not fans. And they were so moved by the fitting tribute that they couldn't even hold back tears on the sidelines. These guys do wonderful work, and I'm glad they're getting this kind of attention.

My only question is this - is an Emmy like the Stanley Cup? Do they get to take it home for a night and break it in with the wife, or do they each get one of their own?

forgiveness is never overrated

2008-06-16T23:58:00.003-04:00

Dear sports fans,

I suck. Yes, I know it. You guys gets used to fresh content on a regular basis, and then all of the sudden - nothing. You're suddenly cut off, cold turkey. This is not by design. I'm stranded in Denver for a week thanks to that other job of mine, and completely missing all the good stuff like Tiger Woods winning on one leg, or Ovechkin already cementing his status as best player to ever suit up for the Capitals. Trust me, no one feels worse than I do right now. So when I get back in town next week, I promise to make it up to you. Until then, read a book or something.

Hugs,

management.

nat pack: the grub

2008-06-09T09:09:00.000-04:00

Last week, we tackled the look and feel of the soon-to-be-corporate-sponsored Nationals Park. While it's lacking in overall curb appeal, we still gave it high marks for the overall game-day experience. Today, I wanted to dive into one of the absolute highlights of the new ballpark -- the food.

Typically, when you're trying to get some food and a beer at any kind of sporting event, the lines are unbearably long and the folks behind the counter are painfully slow. Maybe it's because the team on the field isn't very good, so there's not a ton of people attending games yet, but the lines at Nats Park are a non-issue. Some quick research showed why -- there are 48 concession stands, up from 35 at RFK Stadium.

There's also an amazing variety of eating establishments to choose from -- including many with local flavors. The headliner is easily Ben's Chili Bowl, which has been a staple in the District since 1958. There's also Gifford's Ice Cream & Candy, which first opened its doors in Silver Spring, Maryland, back in 1938. Fans in the mood for a taste of D.C. can also enjoy Five Guys, Red, Hot & Blue, and Boardwalk Fries.

Seeing as it was my first night at the park and Ben's Chili Bowl was staring right at me, I jumped in line and within two minutes was ordering a hot dog and a bowl of chili. I don't remember exactly how much it cost, but they could have charged me double. The food definitely lived up to the hype. The guys from Skinscast got the same thing and we scarfed it down as if we hadn't seen food in months. Seriously, you'd have lost a digit if you attempted to take the hot dog out of John's hand.

The second night, I made sure that my buddy Jason tried Ben's Chili Bowl and he was equally impressed. And while my wife might not have approved, I went ahead and ordered a chili dog since I was waiting in line with him. Later on that evening, during our two hours of exploring the ballpark during the rain delay, we found Gifford's. We each decided to get a cone with one scoop, and let me tell you -- they're not bashful about their serving size. This thing was as big as my head, and I would have taken my time and enjoyed every once of it if it weren't so humid out. Instead, it was a race to finish it before I ended up wearing it.

The biggest downside to your typical dining experience is that you very well might have to sell a child (preferably one of your own) to afford dinner at the park. Beers are $7.50 a draft, which hurts even more when you're stuck with Miller Lite and MGD at most of the beer stands. They also had Bass and Stella, which aren't terrible, but it took a little more digging to find some of the better stuff. The most random beer we ran across at the park was Corona. While it's a common (and refreshing) beverage, we'd never seen it sold in a can before.

While prices were a little excessive, I will tell you that it wasn't nearly as big of a deal to us because every single person we came across in the two nights at the park we extremely polite and friendly. Call it the anti-FedEx Field, if you will, but these employees didn't actually look at customers as if they were keeping them from their break. It's an amazingly simple point, but it's worth stressing -- people don't mind paying an extra dollar or two as long as the food and service is on point. After two long days at Nats Park, I can say with confidence that they hit a home run in both of these areas.

Bottom line, you can't go wrong with your food selection at the ballgame. Treat yourself to a chili dog, a beer and maybe even an ice cream. You deserve it, and while you might have to pick up an extra shift or two at work, it'll be worth it.

Overall grade: A

nat pack: the digs

2008-06-05T09:32:00.008-04:00

First of all, let me take a moment to sincerely apologize for the lack of Homer action this week. I got tied up taking care of a bunch of little stuff, and will do my best to make up for lost time today. Along the same lines, we're dedicating the next several entries to the most neglected stepchild in the Washington family tree -- the Nationals.

While most of the locals were smart enough to stock up on bubblewrap and duct tape while bracing themselves for the Armageddon-like weather thrashing the region over the last couple days, I decided it was the perfect time to get out and visit the new Nationals Park. So on back-to-back nights, I risked life and limb by braving the elements in hopes of giving you, the loyal reader, an in-depth breakdown of the good, the bad and the ugly of the newest ticket in town.

For starters, I wanted to limit the first post to the new ballpark. While I enjoy baseball, I've probably been to about half a dozen or so Major League ballparks (and RFK) up until this point. As soon as I exited the Metro and made the left turn onto Half Street, I couldn't help but feel we're blessed to have such a nice, new stadium. As I walked down the block to the centerfield entrance I immediately noticed that, unlike at RFK, there were no street vendors selling hats, drinks, peanuts, etc. I was later informed that all the vendors had shown up when the stadium first opened, but were run off by the D.C. police (to which I say "not cool.")

Back to Tuesday night, which was sweet because I met up with the guys from Skinscast, who had scored us four tickets to the Nats-Cardinals game. But we wouldn't be sitting with the common folks - no, no - we were treated to four VIP seats in the Jefferson Suite. After grabbing some food, we hit the elevators and headed for the fourth floor where our luxurious gameday experience awaited us.

As soon as we walked into the suite, we knew we had hit the jackpot. This place was clearly fit for a bunch of hate-spewing and yet, completely-biased podcasters. There's a nice sized HDTV, the suite is big enough for a bunch of people to fit in comfortably, and there were plenty of plush seats to sit down and enjoy the game. Here's my only gripe -- there were no food or beverages whatsoever in the entire suite. I heard rumblings that it falls upon whoever paid for the suite to kick in extra money to have anything stocked in there, but it was still startling to see nothing but ketchup, mustard and plastic utensils in the "high society" section of town.

Speaking of our seats, we were down the third base line, near shallow left field. We had a nice view of everything the ballpark has to offer and luckily, when the rain god's frowned upon us, we remained dry (unlike the peasants who scattered like ants down below). While "enjoying" an hour-and-40-minute rain delay, we had ample time to dissect the entire ballpark. While it's very nice, spacious and clean, we came to the conclusion that it's too bland. Maybe some of it gets chalked up to the less-than-ideal weather conditions, but nothing truly catches your eye. There is no warehouse across the street or distinguishing feature, instead you're stuck with a sea of drab concrete. If the Washington Monument or Capitol Building was in closer proximity and visible from your run-of-the-mill seat, then the ballpark would go from cookie cutter to memorable. Unfortunately, much like the street vendors, landmarks (unless you're counting parking garages) are few and far between.

Wednesday night was a little bit different. My buddy Jason (a former Special Forces badass) and I headed back to the park to check out a game with the unwashed masses. We scored some seats in right field, next to the Nats' bullpen. (We figured since the team has no pitching, we'd be guaranteed to see plenty of action). Let me say, right off the bat, had there actually been a game (we were treated to the first rainout at the new venue), these might be some of the best seats in town. There was no doubt that these would be two absolutely perfect seats, had a game actually taken place. Rest assured, once we get out to a make-up date (we can redeem our tickets for a future date), we'll once again aim for section 139.

But once the lightning hit, we were no longer allowed to stay in the seated area, so we were off like a prom dress -- to see what the ballpark had to offer. After Jason stopped to Build-A-Bear, we stumbled upon a hitting and pitching simulator. Having just lost all respectability for recreating Teddy Ruxpin, Jason wanted to earn back his manhood, so he stepped into the batter's box against a virtual Jeremy Bonderman.

Like most of America, I am not well versed when it comes to Detroit pitchers, so I wasn't exactly sure what he was in store for. The answer was quickly apparent -- no two Bonderman pitches use the same path to the plate. The guy was everywhere.Through no fault of his own, Jason managed to make contact with just one of Jeremy's virtual offerings. With no manhood in sight, Jason stormed back over to donate more money into the Lerner Family Piggy Bank for a battle against virtual Pedro Martinez. This time, he made contact with five of eight pitches, even earning a token "Did that guy used to play college ball?" question from one of the passerbys. I think it's safe to say virtual Pedro doesn't have the same goods he did when he was in virtual Boston.

Feeling good about himself, my buddy Jason strutted down to the pitching simulator. Sure, he hadn't attempted to throw a ball with any kind of velocity since Bill Clinton put the cigar back on the map, but he was confident the goods would still be delivered. As we walk up, a 10-year-old offers a 30-mile-an-hour meatball across the plate that virtual A-Rod effortlessly crushes out of the ballpark. Clearly, virtual Rodriguez was bringing his peak "clutch in June" game, and the kid left feeling anything but good about his prepubescent self. So Jason steps onto the mound and tries not to suffer the same fate. He works up a legitimate sweat and gets all the way to a full count, when his 69-mile-per-hour heater on the high outside corner of the plate was deemed ball four by the virtual ump and virtual A-Rod earned a virtual walk. Trust me, Jason did not agree with the virtual call. And trust me, I'll have a guaranteed sore spot to rile up my overly competitive pal over the next two weeks.

Bottom line, we were able to legitimately enjoy a more than two hour rain delay at the ballpark because this place is a paradise for the entire family. Even if we were flirting with a monsoon, we saw more than a few families sitting on a blanket, picnic style, enjoying food as if there wasn't a place on Earth they'd rather be. Once management either builds a team worth the price of admission or figures out a way to distinguish Nationals Park from any of a dozen other Major League ballparks, this will be a can't miss experience for the entire family.

Overall grade: B-

how to fix the NBA

2008-05-30T11:28:00.001-04:00

By in large, the NBA is doing very well these days. Players aren't rushing into the stands to throw down with the fans, referees aren't wagering on games they're calling and teams are once again capable of scoring more than 80 points a game. But that doesn't mean there aren't areas in which the game and the league couldn't improve upon.

Call traveling. We know you want LeBron James to be great, but let's not make a mockery of the game we love so bad. At this point in his young career, referees let King James get away with so much that it only takes him three dibbles to go coast to coast on a basketball court.

Don't take the Sonics away from Seattle. The home of Pearl Jam and Starbucks was awarded a basketball team in 1966, and the Sonics began their inaugural season the following season. Call me crazy, but more than 40 years of history tells me the they deserve to keep the franchise. If you want a team in Oklahoma City or wherever, that's fine. But leave the Sonics alone.

Fix trades. When trades become more about a player's "expiring contract" and less about the actual player, then there's something wrong with the system. Nuf' said.

Suspend players who flop. It's embarrassing watching some of the best athletes alive resort to these kind of shenanigans, but I guarantee that if the league suspended floppers one game for every infraction this new trend would go away in a heartbeat. Otherwise, you'd see Manu Ginobli sitting out more games per year than notoious hothead Rasheed Wallace -- all because Manu hits the deck like Hillary Clinton just ordered a hit on him every time he comes in contact with another player.

Ditch the WNBA. At this point, the only rational explanation why the league even admits the WNBA is still in existence would be David Stern's ego. Let's not forget, almost everything he's done for the league has worked out (expanding from 23 to 30 franchises, televising games in more than 200 countries, making the league a ton of money globally). So I'm sure when he set out to help the NBA's "special" little sister, he thought his name alone would put them on the map. Instead, what he got was an overwhelming "no thanks" from basketball fans who didn't care if "she got game."

And finally, make kids stay in college for at least two seasons. Just think about how much money O.J. Mayo would have if he were at USC for one more year. His parents would never have to work again, and NBA teams might (gasp!) actually be able to draft more than four or five players who could contribute during their rookie season.

how to fix the NHL

2008-05-29T19:07:00.004-04:00

Slowly but surely, people are coming back to the National Hockey League. The ratings might not be Super Bowl caliber, but all indications are that the league, led by young guns like Alex Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin, and featuring a Stanley Cup match-up of two storied franchises, the Pittsburgh Penguins and Detroit Red Wings, is in the best shape we've seen in some time.

But let's not kid ourselves, things have been so bleak the last few years that a semi-steady pulse is considered a vast improvement. Just because the NHL has reminded the average sports fan that it's still alive doesn't mean there's not room for improvement. Here are some suggestions if the league wants to capitalize on these positive trends and officially regain its position in the "Big Four," along with football, baseball and basketball.

Say goodbye to commissioner Gary Bettman. I don't dislike him as much as some, but much like NFL Players Association executive director Gene Upshaw, Bettman has become the focal point for many disgruntled fans who still haven't forgiven him for two labor stoppages, including the 2004-05 NHL lockout that saw the entire season canceled. Other complaints against Bettman include "Americanizing" hockey (which essentially means putting teams in places with no ice to make an extra buck), essentially outlawing fighting and putting the league on a television channel most people either don't have or can't find. But other than that, no one really has anything bad to say about the guy.

Hire Mark Messier as the new commish. Or Wayne Gretzky. Or Mario Lemieux. Or even Jeremy Roenick. It doesn't really matter who, just get a player who is interested in putting forth the effort to help get hockey back on the sports landscape.

Having guys like Brett Hull running teams, who is a co-general manager in Dallas, is a good thing. Hull is bright, knows hockey and is funny as hell. He's also not afraid to say what's on his mind. If you've got a guy like Hull in town, you can bet he'll make headlines. Hockey needs headlines.

Along the same lines:

Get Mark Cuban involved with the NHL. If he can't acquire the Dallas Stars, find another team for him. Seriously. Owners like Mark Cuban and Ted Leonsis of the Washington Capitals are smart businessmen who understand marketing their product in the 21st century. Plus, Cuban is competitive as hell, so whichever team he ends up with can rest assured he'll do everything in his power to make them a league powerhouse.

Eliminate the following teams: Florida Panthers, Atlanta Thrashers, Nashville Predators, Columbus Blue Jackets and the Tampa Bay Lightning. Honestly, would anyone truly lose any sleep over these five teams vanishing tomorrow?

Award franchises to the following cities: Quebec, Winnipeg, Hartford, Las Vegas. Canada knows hockey. Canada loves hockey. The NHL cannot go wrong going retro with the return of the Jets and Nordiques. Add in the loveable Whalers and a team in the forbidden city and you're guaranteed to have people talking. In fact, let's just give Mark Cuban the Las Vegas franchise. Nothing else needs to be said.

You'll notice I eliminated five franchises and only added four. Here's why:

Make every game matter. Taking a page out of Italian soccer, hockey should institute a promotion/relegation system, where the top American minor league team and the top Canadian minor league team play a best of seven championship series, with the winner becoming the NHL's final franchise.

After year one, the top American and Canadian minor league teams would play each other with the winner advancing to play the worst NHL team in a best of seven series. Imagine if the Boston Bruins lost to the Hersey Bears, and were therefore relegated to the minors for at least one season. If nothing else, it would ensure owners would do everything within their power to remain competitive, which is always a good thing for the fans.

Fix the schedule and remember that people like rivalries. The fact that the Red Wings and Penguins didn't get to play each other this season is embarrassing. If you have a superstar like Sidney Crosby or Alex Ovechkin, why wouldn't you want to showcase him across the league? Chalk this up as another blunder for the commissioner, and make sure that every team plays at least one home and one away game against everyone else in the league.

And finally:

Reach out to the casual fan. Sports have reached a point where it costs too much for an average family of four to go to a ballgame anymore. So do anything and everything you can to make a good chunk of your seats affordable to the blue-collar family. Offer student discounts. Offer military discounts. Come up with creative family promotions to make it fun and affordable for families to enjoy hockey together, so you're getting more folks in the stadium and you're growing future fans in the process. We're not trying to just fix hockey today, we're trying to make this work for the long haul.

[Editor's note: After much internal discussion, the plan changes slightly. We're going to leave the Blue Jackets in Columbus and give the shaft to Hartford. Everything else remains the same. Thanks.]

the full monty

2008-05-27T06:57:00.007-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Realizing that we've reached a painfully uneventful portion of an already uncharacteristically quiet offseason for the Washington Redskins, Homer McFanboy is here to the rescue. We're busting out the first of a five-part series on the biggest surprises of the 2007 season. We're spotlighting five guys (not to be confused with Five Guys), who exceeded expectations and give 'Skins fans plenty of reason for optimism heading into the 2008 season. Up first, Anthony Montgomery.

Montgomery was drafted from the University of Minnesota in the fifth round (153rd overall) of the 2006 NFL draft. He's begun to make a name for himself as a defensive tackle, not a character on Star Trek (although that Anthony Montgomery did play a killer role in Leprechaun 5: In The Hood).

Coming into the league, Montgomery, who is originally from Cleveland, Ohio, could easily be described as a Baby Huey or a Gentle Giant. He's 6'5" and was more than 330 lbs. when he first showed up at Redskins Park. In fact, some folks around the league talked about possibly making him into an offensive lineman because some talent evaluators believed he was too laid back to make it on the defensive line. But with all that body to work with, the coaching staff saw enough potential in Montgomery to keep him on the defensive side of the ball.

Growing up, I don't know if he dreamed of one day playing in the NFL, but if he did, Montgomery didn't really do his homework. He’s since admitted that once he made the team as a rookie, he didn’t know the Redskins could cut him. That explains why Kedric Golston, who was drafted in the sixth round (196th overall) of the same 2006 NFL draft, earned more playing time than the man they call Monty in their rookie year. For the 2006 season, Montgomery logged just 11 tackles and a half sack in five games, with one start in a largely uneventful season.

But riding the bench with a no-nonsense guy like Greg Blache overseeing the defensive line was a blessing in disguise for Montgomery. That offseason, he dedicated himself to eating healthy and to a strict training program, in hopes of toning his raw frame and building better endurance. As Phillip Daniels would say, "There was no half-steppin'." Montgomery gave up fried foods and put in more time at Redskins Park than the secretaries, and it paid off. By the time the 2007 season started, the kid had dropped 20 pounds and looked like a football player. Veterans like Joe Salave'a and Renaldo Wynn were cut, but Monty was not.

Respecting the effort, the Redskins coaching staff had no choice but to find time for Montgomery, who played in all 16 games and emerged as a regular starter. He logged 47 tackles (35 solo), a half-sack and two fumble recoveries during the season, but the numbers only go so far. Montgomery looked particularly strong in wins over the Detroit Lions (where the defense surrendered just 68 yards of rushing on the day), the Dallas Cowboys (who rushed for one -- I repeat -- ONE YARD the entire game) and in the playoffs against the Seattle Seahawks. When he's on his game, he's clogging the middle and giving running backs nowhere to hide.

I've had several chances to chat with Montgomery, and can honestly say he's one of my favorites in the locker room. In fact, I'm on the record as calling him a "beast." To his credit, he laughed at me and told me he took it personally when he had to sit most of the 2006 season and still takes it personally when a running back tries to run on his defense.

And Monty is a bit superstitious too. Turns out he did some stretching and warm-ups with fellow defensive lineman Chris Wilson towards the end of the 2007 season. The team won and both guys played well, so there they were, for the rest of the regular season, stretching together in the endzone before each game. As a hockey player who won't even wash my jersey if I play well, let's just say I can relate.

One of the other things I respect most about Montgomery is he's there during the good times and the bad. He's willing to do interviews after a win, but he's just as willing to talk after a loss. After the team's season ended against the Seahawks in the first round of the playoffs I asked Monty how much time he planned on taking off.

"The season didn't end the way we wanted it, so we can't take a lot of time off," he said. He planned on taking a week or two tops, and then heading back to Redskins Park for what he called "unfinished business." That's a vast improvement for a guy who was seemingly content to collect a paycheck without putting in the time and effort to become an elite football player as a rookie. Now, he's completely transformed his body type and seems destined to be a force in the trenches for the 'Skins for the foreseeable future.

That's why, on the first day of minicamp, I wanted to check in with Anthony Montgomery. To see how he's progressing and to have him weigh in on the new coaching staff. It was an enjoyable interview, which can be heard here, in which we tackle everything from avoiding a foot in the ass courtesy of his new defensive coordinator to taking the family to Disney World. Even though the Redskins might not have earned the trip to Disney that comes with winning the Super Bowl, we can give Monty a pass this time around. If this team is going to get there, it's going to be because of players like Montgomery getting the job done.

Random fact: Montgomery excelled at three different sports -- football, baseball and basketball -- at John F. Kennedy High School in Cleveland. He averaged 17 points, 12 rebounds and three assists as a three-year all-conference member in basketball, hit 14 homer runs and struck out 60 batters as an all-state baseball player and even played some quarterback for the football team.

help wanted

2008-05-23T13:06:00.008-04:00

This week, Dan Steinberg of The Washington Post mentioned on his blog that the Washington Redskins are looking to hire a full-time blogger. In fact, the team even brought in Steinberg, the man behind the D.C. Sports Bog, to see if he could be the man for the job. While Steinberg said it isn't going to work out for him, he went on to say, "The idea of a behind-the-scenes, video-and-photo-heavy, well-written and authentic Redskins.com blog, composed by a real blogger, is a tremendous one that will almost certainly succeed."

On the flip side is Stet Sports Blog, who posted Five Reasons Why You Shouldn't Blog For the Washington Redskins. In their opinion, whoever is hired will:

1. Have no creative license
2. Say goodbye to facts
3. Be hated by the Redskins players
4. Be fired within 48 hours
5. Lose their independence

Finally, we have Michael David Smith, of AOL Sports' Fanhouse weighing in on the subject of a possible Redskins-blogger marriage. Smith says, "This is good news for Redskins fans, for bloggers, for blog readers -- for everyone who likes football and likes going online to get information about football."

So why do I bring all of this up? Well, for more than three years now I've been afforded incredible access to the Washington Redskins. I've been allowed to take photos on the sidelines during minicamp, training camp and even games -- both home and away. I've conducted countless interviews with everyone from Vinny Cerrato to Jimmy Farris, and everyone in between. I've covered everything from the Sean Taylor Memorial at Redskins Park to Renaldo Wynn's Car Show, from Art Monk and Darell Green's Hall of Fame press conference to Joe Gibbs' final playoff game in Seattle. I'm not bringing any of this up for a pat on the back, I'm simply letting folks know I've been around the team long enough to form an opinion on this subject.

Whoever ends up being hired as the full-time blogger for the Redskins will be given the opportunity to do something completely groundbreaking. It's one thing to come out to Redskins Park on behalf of the team's messageboard or a newspaper and hunt for blog-able content, but it's a whole new ballgame when you're officially part of the team. Think about your current place of employment -- just being there day in and day out you can't help but learn fascinating tidbits about your co-workers that would otherwise go unreported.

For my full-time gig (sorry folks, Homer McFanboy ain't paying the bills just yet) I work for the government. While that isn't very exciting in the context of sports, on my floor alone we've got a guy who just bowled a perfect game, a gal whose cousin is a highly-talented rookie shortstop with the San Francisco Giants and another fellow whose related to a big-name rookie wide receiver in Pittsburgh. The bottom line is -- stories are everywhere, as long as you're willing to put in the work. So if you're at the Park daily and afforded the kind of access the team is talking about, you can't help but come across content no one else can provide.

Before I wrap this entry up, I want to tackle one very common misconception about the front office. Like I mentioned earlier, this is the fourth season I've been allowed to roam the 'Skins sidelines. Not once during that time has anyone on the Redskins payroll pulled me aside and told me not to cover something or asked me to slant my coverage one way or the other. They're fully aware of what I'm doing and what I'm writing, but no one is standing over my shoulder making me delete a comment if I say Devin Thomas looked lost on day one of minicamp or that Jon Jansen and Randy Thomas are injured so frequently that they spend as much time on the sidelines as I do. If you're good at what you do and don't embarrass yourself or the team, chances are the team will leave you alone.

When you read something like the "Five Reasons Why You Shouldn't Blog For The Washington Redskins," just know that's coming from someone who has never actually worked with the team in any capacity. But as I said to that author, congrats to you - you've managed to "save your independence" by becoming a sheep and repeating what you've heard from all the other talking heads. You go girl.

This is a good thing, and whoever ends up as the first-ever Redskins blogger better bring the goods. Otherwise, this will be another case of an incredible opportunity wasted.

the man, the myth, the mullet

2008-05-22T07:29:00.002-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

Man, I hate these things. Speaking at someone's wake ... er ... wedding is never pleasant. Okay, where should I begin?

It's easy to see why Chris Cooley is one of the most popular athletes in town. For starters, he might be legally insane. Doubters need only talk to the folks at Cooley's banking institution of choice in Leesburg, Virginia, where they're still trying to recover from the time he went to the drive-through window to deposit a check. Not just any check, mind you. No, this particular check on that fateful day was a multi-million-dollar signing bonus with his name already signed on the back. Apparently walking in the building with his biggest paycheck in his young career wasn't an option, but putting the check into the little thermos-like-contraption and sending the golden ticket to a Pacman Jones' "Makin' it Rain" party through the tube was a better idea. Just another day in the life of a semi-mormon tight end.

One of my first chances to talk with Cooley was after a 2005 preseason game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Regardless of how he played in that game, I knew I needed to corner him a get some answers to the hard-hitting type of questions people have come to expect from me -- like, "What's up with the mullet?"

Cooley laughed, caught slightly off-guard. Even though there were dozens of media members in the post-game locker room, it seems I was the only one in the room who noticed the always fashionable hairstyle. He explained that teammates persuaded the second-year tight end to shave his hair into a mullet before the game, and to take it to the next level, Cooley had taken a magic marker and drawn a big, curly mustache on his face just for kicks. When I asked him about it, he kind of shrugged his shoulders and explain that training camp gets old really quick and he wanted to lighten up the mood in the locker room. Mission accomplished.

That was the 2005 Chris Cooley, only embarking on his second season of professional football. The following season, now feeling completely at home, he decided to sport an afro - again, just for the hell of it - that I was fortunate enough to capture in all it's glory and can be seen at the top of this entry.

Other highlights with our wacky Pro Bowler include Cooley hitting the field for training camp dressed like one of those pricey role-playing hookers only disgraced politicians and Eddie Murphy really get to encounter.

Or arriving to camp with a spiffy buzz-cut look, severely limiting the options when planning on any shenanigans, so to make it up to everyone, he grew a pornstache, for no apparent reason.

And that, my friends, is just the tip.

Cooley was the first NFL player to talk openly about being involved in fantasy football. In fact, he's on the record for costing himself a fantasy football playoff game because he scored three touchdowns against the hated Dallas Cowboys, only to discover his opponent that week had "Fantasy Cooley," who scored him more than enough points to send the tight end home empty handed.

And we can't forget the birth of Captain Chaos. Former teammate/fellow metalhead Brian Kozlowski bet Cooley $100 he wouldn't introduce himself as Captain Chaos to the St. Louis Rams' captains before a game. "There were five captains," Cooley said. "I looked every one in the face and said: 'I'm Captain Chaos. Nice to meet you.'" Reebok made a T-shirt, and the name stuck. No word on if Koz ever paid up though.

These days, with a firm grasp on the potential gold mind here, Cooley has started his very own Outside Football blog. If you ever wanted to know Chris' thoughts on a possible jell-o wrestling match involving Cooley and his fiance' Christy taking on Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson, it's only a click away.

In fact, his blog is so open and honest that within the last week, Cooley has posted about his pending wedding to the former First Lady of Football set for this Friday and wrote a very well thought out entry on the owner's decision to opt out of the collective bargaining agreement. He's enjoying doing it, and more importantly, he's good at blogging. I had a few moments to catch up with Chris and to ask him about his new roll as a tight end/h-back/blogger. Click here to listen to the full interview.

So now, let's wrap this thing up with a toast to the man of the hour - everyone please raise your glasses.

"To lesbians and virgins - thanks for nothing."

damn it feels good to be a gangsta

2008-05-21T10:27:00.000-04:00

It's becoming more and more apparent that these aren't your parent's Washington Capitals anymore.

The big news today is that Alexander Ovechkin has been named The Sporting News' Player of the Year. This may be a no-brainer considering how he will presumably sweep most of the individual awards when the NHL hands out hardware at the end of the season, but it's still a big deal because, if we're being honest, Capitals players typically don't get much love and respect outside of the beltway.

It should also be pointed out that congrats are also in order for Capitals defenseman Mike Green, who joined Alex the Great on The Sporting News' All-Star team. All of this comes a few days after Team Russia, led by a top line of Ovechkin, Sergei Federov and Alexander Semin, took home the gold medal after defeating Team Canada (and Mike Green) in overtime 5-4 at the world hockey championship. Semin even chipped in two goals in the championship game.

Like I said, these ain't your daddy's Caps. This is probably a good time to mention that the season tickets are still available. Get them now, because I have a strong feeling this is going to be one of the most difficult tickets to get in town in the not-too-distant future.

center of attention

2008-05-21T07:03:00.004-04:00

It is often said that the quarterback of the Redskins is the second most important position in Washington, behind only the president. Well, I'm here to tell you - this may be a QB's town, but it certainly isn't a place that shows the center much love.

Casey Rabach is a forgotten man. Chris Samuels, Jon Jansen and Randy Thomas are all bigger names on the offensive line. Hell, even the guy running the O-line, Joe Bugel, is more well known than the center. I'd argue that even the team's long snapper, Ethan Albright, gets more attention than Rabach. Between making the Pro Bowl last year and the infamous Madden feud, the "Red Snapper" has definitely made more of a name for himself than the mighty Casey. I mean, what has anyone heard about Rabach in the last year? Not much, other than the fact that the rookie head coach doesn't like the angle of his rear end when he's got the ball in his hands.

Did Rabach complain or tell the rookie coach to pipe down? Not a chance. He simply said, "If raising my butt an inch or two is going to help, whatever, I'll accommodate them. It'll take a little time. It'll feel awkward at first, but we'll get it done."

All of this to ensure that whichever golden boy lines up behind him gets the football delivered as smoothly as possible. Heaven forbid a quarterback actually do any work back there. Damned divas.

In the interest of full disclosure, after more than three years of being around the team, Casey Rabach is one of my favorite 'Skins players to interview. He's definitely not stuck up or worried about his public image. He's very comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is and what he brings to the table at this point in his career. So much so, that often he's standing there in the locker room with nothing more than a towel wrapped around him and with dip in his mouth. You can take the boy out of the country, but ... well ... you know the rest.

Anyone watching a 'Skins practice can't help but notice he always seems to be having the time of his life.

During minicamp, all eyes are on the rookies, right? Folks around town want to know every detail possible about the newest additions to the team. With that in mind, I asked Rabach how rookie offensive lineman Chad Rinehart looked after practice one day during minicamp and he replied, “Which number was he?” Kind of puts a rookie in his place, huh?

During another day of camp, Rabach could be seen chasing Pro Bowl tight end Chris Cooley 30 yards downfield after a catch-and-run, all the while yelling "I’ve got your back! I’ve got your back!” over and over. I guess he wanted Cooley to know if he was winded and needed to pitch the ball to a 300 lb. lineman, he was there to help a brother out.

He's also a guy who enjoys ice fishing while enjoying a few ice cold brews during the offseason. Or renting an RV with buddy Jon Jansen during training camp. Or flashing the batwing at an unsuspecting teammate. Or mooning the FOX Morning Show's live shot. And while we're on the subject, I'm 99 percent sure that Rabach also mooned a group of Redskins fans for good measure, when they gathered for a send-off at Redskins Park as the team was leaving for New Orleans a couple seasons ago. But let's be honest, they probably deserved it.

All I know is that if I were on the team and had to suffer through the dog days of summer, Casey Rabach is one of the very first guys I'd want on the team to keep things light and enjoyable. The fact that he's one of the better centers in the NFL is merely a bonus.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

mandatory training

2008-05-19T10:24:00.003-04:00

Kids.

No matter how much you try and coddle them or prepare them for the real world almost universally they all end up learning the hard way.

I saw the potential for a problem at minicamp and tried to head it off at the pass with rookie tight end Fred Davis. During an interview with Davis, I asked him which football player he used to emulate as a kid and his answer was Michael Irvin. I quickly reminded him that he's a member of the Washington Redskins now and answering "I used to pretend I was one of the hated rivals" is probably not the best route to take on his first day in town. We both laughed, and he quickly changed his tune to Jerry Rice and promised to stick with Rice's name in future interviews.

Fast forward to last week, where it seems Redskins rookie wide out Devin Thomas won the 2008 Rookie Madden Bowl. Thomas competed against such names as Matt Ryan, Brian Brohm and Rashard Mendenhall and came out on top, calling the win "the greatest moment of his NFL career to date." Here's the problem - Thomas used the Dallas Cowboys in the video game tournament.

I guess no one sat him down (shame on you, Redskins media relations) and spelled it out. Something like "Hey Devin, don't use the Cowboys when you play in a video game tournament that people will find out about. That'd be like us making you wear Michigan colors during a TV interview in East Lansing."

I (half-jokingly) explain to folks that I've been a 'Skins fan for so long that my parents put me in Dallas diapers and told me to aim for the star. During my Army time, when I was stationed in Texas for two and a half years, I would make it a point to be at the local sports bar the minute the doors opened every Sunday to ensure the Redskins game ended up on the biggest Plasma screen in the bar (which meant the Dallas fans had to watch the home game on one of the dinky TV screens above the bar). Sure, I nearly got my teeth kicked in on a weekly basis by pissed off Cowboys fans, but it was worth it. That's what this rivalry is all about.

I most likely won't get another chance to chat with the rookies until training camp, but in the meantime I am pleading with someone at Redskins Park to please sit these guys down and brief them on exactly who George Allen was and what this rivalry means to this town. If they're going to be a part of the biggest rivalry in professional football, they need to know what's expected of them.

programming note

2008-05-13T17:52:00.010-04:00

The Washington Capitals season has come and gone. Ditto for the Wizards. The Redskins are in the OTA portion of the offseason, which means we won't have much to talk about on that front until training camp. The Nationals ... well ... the season, if not their bats, is in full swing. So with things relatively quiet on the homefront, I decided to sneak off for a week's vacation in Hawaii (which may or may not have anything to do with my escapades in Richmond a week ago).

I'd like to say I'm sorry that there won't be much to report here on Homer McFanboy for a week, but let's be real - I'm drinking Mai Tais on the beach and enjoying the scenery. I even tried to catch a little bit of the Celtics-Cavaliers series yesterday, but the game was on at 3 p.m. here, and everyone knows that's happy hour on the beach. Why should I watch LeBron cry because someone fouled him when I can send strawberry daiquiris to the cute chick at the end of the bar?

If you're really hurting for your local coverage, then let me point you to the latest episode of Skinscast. John and I go toe-to-toe once and for all to prove he's a twit and the media needs to remember what it was like to be young and away from home for the first time.

And to throw a bone to the jealous types who may not be thrilled that I'm sitting on a beach instead of patrolling the sidelines, I wanted to pass along a link to a story from the good guys over at Hog Heaven. Apparently some lucky fan is going to win a chance to go to Aruba to watch the Redskins Cheerleaders Calendar Photo Shoot. For the safety of everyone involved, little blondes need not apply.

Until next time ...

(photo by my wife)

olie the goalie

2008-05-09T09:12:00.004-04:00

Today is a sad and rainy day in town, which is fitting because a staple of sports in the District is saying good bye. Washington Capitals goalie Olaf Kolzig has let it be known that he will enter free agency and will not return to play for the only team he has ever known in his NHL career.

Since he was drafted with the 19th pick in the 1989 NHL draft, Kolzig has been the face of the franchise. He earned a steady roster spot backing up a one-hit wonder named Jim Carey in net in the mid-90's, and has been a mainstay ever since. While league rules prevent goalies from wearing the captain's "C" on their sweater, there was never any doubt who was the vocal leader of the Caps. If the team needed a kick in the pants to get them going, Kolzig had no problem breaking a stick over the net or having a word with a sluggish teammate.

He was in the crease for the good times, like the 97-98' Stanley Cup Finals run and in 2000, when he earned the Vezina Trophy as the league's top goaltender. He's also been around for the not-so-glorious years, even after veteran names like Bondra, Konowalchuk, Nylander, Witt and Jagr were shown the door so management could blow up the roster and start from scratch. While he might have been teamed with minor-league caliber comrades on the ice, Kolzig was still nothing but class off of it.

After the tragedy of Sept. 11, 2001, Kolzig wanted to do his part to help the families of the victims.

"I'm a big guy who plays with a lot of emotion. I wanted the mask to show that. I sent three to the artist, and we came up with the concept together. After 9/11, I had him put the Pentagon on the left side to pay tribute to those people. Once the season is over, I'm going to auction off the mask and donate all the money to victims of 9/11," Kolzig said in an ESPN the Magazine article from January 2002.

If my memory serves me correctly, that goalie mask, which Kolzig autographed, raised more than $30,000. Just another day at the office, for a guy who is also involved in programs such as Athletes Against Autism, Olie's All Stars and the Carson Kolzig Foundation.

In January 2007, I was fortunately enough to sit down for a one-on-one interview with Kolzig, who might very well be the most down to Earth athlete I've ever had the pleasure of interviewing. One of the questions I asked him that day was, "How important is it for you to play your entire career here in Washington?"

"There have been some question marks about that these last couple years because of the rebuilding that's going on here," Kolzig told me. "But I committed myself last year and was really optimistic about where this organization is going and the kind of players we have here. I thought that getting traded might give me a better shot to win the Stanley Cup in the short term, but at the same time you lose that stature that you've established with one team.

"You go to a new team and even though you're a veteran you have to get to know all new guys and you're lower on the totem pole," he said. "With my comfort level here I didn't really want to go through that. I thought there wouldn't be a better story than starting and finishing my career with one team and winning the Stanley Cup. So I'm trying to give myself an opportunity here with my team the next three or four years to win the Cup. Ultimately that would be the best scenario."

Echoing the same sentiment in an interview with the Washington Post, Kolzig said this week that his only regret was never winning the Stanley Cup with the Caps.

"It's unfortunate, because they have a good team here now. It's a fantastic team, fantastic group of guys. Not to be a part of that is going to be tough, especially after 17 years and three years of what we went through post-lockout," Kolzig told the Washington Post.

It was tough for diehard fans to see Peter Bondra in a Ottawa Senators jersey, and it'll be equally as tough to see Kolzig wearing anything other than the red, white and blue of our nation's Capitals. But he's earned the right to end his prolific career any way he sees fit, even if that means closing it out in Vencouver, Ottawa or elsewhere. And if the right offer doesn't come along, then Kolzig admits he has no problem moving on to the next chapter of his life.

"I'll just sit by the pool with a six-pack," he said.

So the next time you crack open a cold one, think of the man they call Godzilla. After nearly 20 years of giving his heart and soul to the town, he deserves the proper send off.

(Random fact: While with the Western Hockey League's Tri-City Americans, Kolzig scored a goal on November 29, 1989.)

hail to the chief

2008-05-08T09:01:00.005-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

I know this is going to come as a shocker, but rookie head coach Jim Zorn is not Joe Gibbs. None of this is groundbreaking, but to recap - he doesn't have the Hall of Fame credentials, his friends call him "Z-Man," and he looks like he'd be more comfortable in shorts with a surfboard, rather than running an NFL franchise. I'd go as far as to say that if Seattle QB Matt Hasselbeck wasn't considered a Pro Bowl quarterback, then Zorn would simply be known as the inappropriate coach who brought a Slip n' Slide to practice.

Redskins fans almost universally agreed Zorn was a solid choice as the young and upcoming offensive coordinator when he was brought on board in February, but weren't nearly as convinced two weeks later when he won the Redskins reality show and earned the chance to run the biggest team in town. When he began talking about opening the offense up and rumblings of five-receiver sets started making the rounds, more than one skeptical 'Skins fan invoked the name of the ol' ball coach, Steve Spurrier.

While it's still really early in the game, I'm here to tell you that things might not be as gloomy as the pessimists portray. During minicamp, I was interested to see what changes would be implemented by the new regime. Little things like names on the backs of jerseys to help the rookie coach didn't bother me. Neither did the lack of NFL referees on site, although they've been a staple of Gibbs' camps for years. And yes, while Zorn still looks as though he could easily spend an afternoon jamming to Bob Marley with proverbial pothead Ricky Williams, he just might make it as one of the 32 NFL head coaches.

Very early on, those of us on the sidelines couldn't help but notice the confidence and authoritative tone with which Zorn speaks during practice. He's not a disciplinarian in the mold of a Marty Schottenheimer (he's much more likely to have players use video games than the Oklahoma Drill), but he's very much in command of the situation, in the way a veteran quarterback commands a huddle. When rookie wide out Devin Thomas cut one way and Sam Hollenbach's pass went another, Zorn met Thomas en route back to the huddle.

"That was a good throw right there, but you were still in college," the Z-Man said.

No wasted words. No sugar coating. At that moment, only one of the guys in the conversation seemed to be a rookie.

Later in practice, veteran cornerback Shawn Springs picked off an errant pass and pitched it back to fellow cornerback Fred Smoot, who juggled the ball for a few steps before tackle Jon Jansen sent him flying. Immediately, Zorn came flying in and ripped into both defensive players, essentially saying, “Cut the crap. We don’t do that here.” More than any other minicamp moment, this is what I'll remember. As one veteran writer put it, “I guess the inmates won’t be running the asylum around here anymore.”

The purpose of this entry is not to suggest that Jim Zorn is going to be better than Joe Gibbs, with his three Super Bowl rings. It's simply to point out the stark contrast between the two individuals and to suggest that maybe, just maybe, taking a chance on this promising young first-time coach could end up working out for a Redskins franchise in search of stability, over the long run.

let's go racin' boys

2008-05-07T12:29:00.003-04:00

Here is the final batch of my photos taken of the Dan Lowry 400 NASCAR race from this past weekend. After these, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I've done a few laps on the Richmond International Raceway, but I'm fairly certain that all the cars are supposed to face the same direction. Maybe someone should give Juan Pablo Montoya a head's up.

Jeff Gordon and Kasey Kahne battle for position on the track, and the love of fans off of it. Oddly, my friend Kurt Krol owns this shirt. None of us have the heart to take it away from him.

Red Bull car driver A.J Allmeninger shoots fire at his pit crew, in hopes of teaching them to work faster during pitstops.

NAPA Toyota driver Michael Wiltrip and Kellogg's driver Casey Mears can be apart no longer.

Army driver Mark Martin pulls into the pits one final time during the Dan Lowry 400. Martin finished the race in third place.

(photos by Brian Murphy)

rubbin' is racing

2008-05-07T11:11:00.003-04:00

Here is a small sample of some of my photos taken from this past weekend's Dan Lowry 400 NASCAR race.

Denny Hamlin, of Joe Gibbs Racing, started in first place and led for nearly the entire Dan Lowry 400. Unfortunately, he ran into some tire trouble with less than 20 laps to go and had to settle for a 24th place finish.

Fellow Joe Gibbs driver Tony Stewart fared a little better than Hamlin, starting in 15th place and earning a fourth-place finish.

Two of the most popular drivers in NASCAR, Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Jeff Gordon, fight for positioning during the race. Earnhardt Jr. came within for laps of winning the Dan Lowry 400 and breaking his 72-race winless streak.

I don't know a ton about NASCAR, but I'm fairly sure sparks are a bad thing. That would probably explain why Johnny Sauter is pulling the Haas Automation Chevrolet in for an unscheduled pitstop.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. is a diehard Redskins fan, and for that, we love him. Plus, he's driving the Army National Guard car, so he's patriotic and a 'Skins fan. Seriously, how could anyone root against this guy?

(photos by Brian Murphy)

our nation's capitals

2008-05-06T19:24:00.005-04:00

While we weren't given a ton of notice to prepare for the special occasion, D.C. sports fans had to be pleased to hear that today was declared Washington Capitals Day by the D.C. city council. With Alex Ovechkin and friends at the world championships, Shaone Morrisonn attended the ceremony with owner Ted Leonsis.

And while this has almost nothing to do with anything, I'm excited to report that I've somehow convinced my wife to let me purchase a two-foot-tall replica of the Stanley Cup. I can think of nothing in the world I need in my life more than a replica of the Holy Grail, and thankful she's given up fighting me on this. Now let's see how long I last until I'm renting it out for local baptisms and bar mitzvahs.

One final note, apparently John Pappas of Skinscast is upset that I called him a twit for his take on Redskins rookie tight end Fred Davis oversleeping and missing the final day of minicamp. In the interest of fairness, here's a link to his rebuttal. My problem isn't with Pappas, personally, but rather the fact that the media didn't mention the phrase "character issue" until AFTER Davis missed practice. The only thing we heard the day after the Redskins drafted him was that Davis was the Mackey Award winner, for the nation's best tight end and that the 'Skins thought he was too good to pass up. No one mentioned "character issues" until they saw fit to pile on a kid who made a mistake. If I'm going to be the bad guy for calling a spade a spade, then so be it.

pillow talk

2008-05-05T17:12:00.000-04:00

While I was down in Richmond sneaking my way onto the racetrack, it looks like one of the Redskins newest additions was making headlines of his own.

Fred Davis, the rookie tight end out of USC, has caused an uproar after missing Sunday's practice because he overslept, which has prompted some folks to jump on the ridiculous "he had character issues in college" bandwagon.

Before I get into it, let me John Clayton explain exactly what happened. According to Clayton:"Then there was second-round pick Fred Davis. He couldn't sleep Saturday night because his roommate wouldn't shut up. So he went to the desk of the hotel and asked for a different room. He slept until 11 a.m., and the team couldn't find him because he wasn't in the right room."

When asked for comment after the final practice of minicamp (and before he knew all the details), rookie head coach Jim Zorn was refreshingly candid and honest about the situation.

"If it is [oversleeping], he's got to be mortified," Zorn said. "But that's a young guy, let's set the alarm. You can call for a wake-up call, whatever. And some of these guys are young enough, I'm serious, to not even understand that. He thought maybe somebody else was going to wake him up, I don't know. But he'll learn, he'll learn real quick."

Here's the thing about this -- this is a non-story. Anyone saying otherwise is a twit. Even coming from an established program like USC, this entire NFL experience is still a culture shock for a 22-year-old kid. I equate it to when I first joined the Army and suddenly found myself in Panama and way out of my comfort zone. Being fairly responsible, I had never had issues with forgetting my wallet or oversleeping during my youth, but almost immediately after I arrived in country I started screwing up left and right. Making a mandatory formation was no longer routine and more than one my sergeant had to put a foot in my ass to guide me in the right direction.

As best as I can tell, this has more to do with Davis ending up with loquacious roommate than him being a knucklehead. Let's all take a deep breath and chalk it up to a little bad luck for this young man. I guarantee, with his professional career at stake, he'll be too scared to have anything like this happen again.

And just to drive home the fact that I think that Davis is a good kid, I want to share my interview with him from Friday's practice. Out of all the interviews I did at Redskins Park that day, he was the most enjoyable person to talk to. The biggest gripe I have with him is he grew up idolizing Michael Irvin, but as you can hear in the audio, I took care of that real quick.

all you can eat

2008-05-05T12:54:00.007-04:00

We officially live in a "no fun" world -- where every kid in the league gets a trophy regardless of whether their team wins a game or not and character-building games like dodgeball are almost universally banned. So it should come as no surprise that moments after Papa John's put together some timely t-shirts with LeBron James' number and the name "crybaby," they issued an apology for offending people.

Papa John's will sell Cleveland residents a large, one-topping pizza for 23 cents this week, and will also donate $10,000 to the Cavaliers Youth Fund. I realize this is a no-brainer for them because they get a ton of free publicity, but this is not cool. Either have the stones to call someone out or don't. This is no better than playing both sides of the feud -- sticking whichever side is winning.

Sports are all about trash talking, and it should be a good thing if D.C. establishments want to get in the game and support the local franchises. But don't wuss out and bail the second you get a phonecall complaining (even if it's from the commissioner David Stern). You had the grapefruits to think up the t-shirts and to have them made. Stand by your decision and tell Cleveland to, once again, quit crying.

shake and bake

2008-05-05T09:00:00.004-04:00

(photos by my wife)

"America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, bad-ass speed." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Let me start off by saying that this is a D.C.-themed sports blog. The focus is, and will always be, on anything and everything pertaining to the District's sports franchises. Having said that, from time to time we might wander off the beaten path just a little bit.

This past weekend, I hit the road down to the Richmond International Raceway to shoot photos of The Dan Lowry 400 race Saturday night. The way I look at it, Redskins Hall of Fame head coach Joe Gibbs has a NASCAR team, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. is a diehard 'Skins fan, so we're justified in taking a "Ricky Bobby" moment or two on a slow news day. Which transitions nicely to this -

Hey Jeff Gordon, "if you ain't first, you're last."

I don't personally have anything against Gordon, and I'm not enough of a NASCAR fan to put him in the same category as the hated Dallas Cowboys or the Pittsburgh Penguins, but I was able to do something he wasn't this weekend -- be the lead car on the Richmond International Raceway.

That's right, when no one was looking, I snuck out onto the track and did two laps around the raceway. The best part, we had already been stopped by a security guard (who we'll refer to from here on out as Roscoe P. Coltrane). As soon as we came through the tunnel to actually enter the infield area, Roscoe immediately appeared out of nowhere, honking his horn to flag us down. One of the individuals in the vehicle, whom (in keeping with the Dukes of Hazzard theme) we'll refer to as Cooter, got out of the car and gave the Obi-Wan Kenobi "These aren't the droids you're looking for" speech and "Richmond's finest" let us go with the understanding we'd take a quick look at the track and get out of there.

Well, "we're just the good ol' boys, and we're never meaning no harm," so we slowly cruised near pit road holding the camera out the window looking all innocent and tourist-y. We figured if he stayed there watching us, we'd snap a couple shots and get out of there, but thankfully, Roscoe didn't let us down. He inexplicably vanished during the five or so minutes we were playing possum and that's when we got the brilliant idea -- let's go racing!

So I took one final peak behind us to see if "Richmond's finest" was anywhere nearby and after verifying that the coast was clear, steered the vehicle out onto the track at turn one as I hit the accelerator. We did two glorious laps (hovering around 65 miles per hour) and pulled into the pits. A quick Chinese fire drill later, and my wife was now driving. She did one lap around the track (never going more than 45 mph because she was bouncing between terrified and euphoric) and as we came around turn three I spotted a familiar foe.

Seeing us on the track after his specific orders against doing so did not sit well with Roscoe, who at this point was hauling ass to cut us off at the end of pit road. As luck would have it, we were able to make a sharp turn back into the pits and quickly head back into the infield while he was still tearing down towards turn one. Two quick left turns and we were speeding through the tunnel and off the premises before our good buddy was able to radio for help. Had we not been fortunate enough to see him as soon as we did, there's no doubt that this story ends differently -- most likely with the phrase, "and that's how I spent the weekend in jail, your honor."

A special thanks goes out to my wife, Cooter and Cletus (who was kind/dumb enough to let us use his vehicle for our joy-riding adventure, so that when Richmond security watches the surveillance video they'll have his plates, not mine). Now I understand why people love NASCAR.

remember the spartans

2008-05-03T11:30:00.001-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

I wanted to talk about another one of the Redskins rookies, a guy by the name of Devin Thomas, who was last seen tearing it up as a wide out for Michigan State.

Now, this is my fourth preseason covering the 'Skins. Unfortunately for Thomas and the new guys, they have a much tougher schedule than other rookies faced in previous years. Take LaRon Landry and friends from a year ago. They had a rookie camp, so the first time I saw Landry he was easily the best player on the field. Today, we’re looking at the rookies, while they’re sharing the field with established veterans like Santana Moss, London Fletcher, and yes, Mr. Landry. That makes it a helluva lot harder for them to stand out. In my opinion, Devin Thomas was incredibly nervous in the early stages of his first NFL minicamp. Looking back at my photos, one can't help but notice Thomas dropping more than a few catchable passes.

After the morning practice ended, I had a chance to talk one-on-one with Thomas and asked him to evaluate his showing in his first NFL minicamp.

"I feel like I did pretty good. I made some minor mistakes, but I think I can adjust to it and perform better in the second practice," Thomas said.

The good news is, he was right. Thomas warmed up as the day went on and looked perfectly fine by the end of the day. In fact, Thomas made one of the two best plays of the day, by reaching back for a Sam Hollenbach pass that was thrown behind him and hauling in a beauty of a catch that earned cheers from his peers.

We might not be able to tell if Devin Thomas is going to be a Hall of Fame wide receiver in the National Football League after his first day, but we can get an idea of the character this kid has. He was upfront and honest in admitting he made some mistakes and knew he'd have to step it up or the coaches were going to be all over him.
He didn't want to tell me how great he is, rather what he needed to do to improve. In the me-first world we live in, I'll take that kind of player on my favorite team any day of the week.

Click here to listen to my interview with Devin Thomas.

getting to know malcolm kelly

2008-05-03T09:08:00.001-04:00

Alright, I admit it. I was not doing cartwheels when the Redskins drafted Oklahoma wide receiver Malcolm Kelly with their third second-round pick in the 2008 NFL draft. In fact, in this very blog, I believe I compared him to Rod "Stone Hands" Gardner. This is the part where I'll say that I possibly overreacted after hearing one too many stories about his less-than-stellar workouts and the comments made immediately following those workouts just before the draft. If he had never ran the 40-yard dash, and therefore never been labeled a problem child for his comments pertaining to those workouts, then all I would have had to go off of were some sweet highlights from his college days. He's got a big body, he made some big-time catches for a big-time program and he has speed when it counts during gametime.

Compounding matters, one of the guys who I respect from the Redskins organization told me he's dealt with Malcolm Kelly a couple times since he arrived in town and has been nothing but a pleasure to be around. So that settled it, if I only talked to one rookie on day one of the Redskins 2008 minicamp, I wanted to it to be Kelly. I wanted to get a feel for this kid and see for myself what he's made of.

Right away he talked about getting the "day one jitters out" and came across completely humble. He also admitted that he's going to have to concentrate more on running precise routes, because coaches at this level notice every single misstep you make. He ended the interview by promising me he's going to "play hard every play, and never take a play off." If you'd like to hear for yourself, here is the link for the full audio.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

what can phil do for you?

2008-05-02T22:34:00.008-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

One of the most frequent questions I get asked is, "Which Redskins players are your favorite to talk to?" While I can always find time to chat with Fred Smoot, Marcus Washington, Chris Samuels, Casey Rabach and Anthony Montgomery, the player who is probably at the top of the list is defensive end Phillip Daniels. The 13-year veteran out of Georgia is so down-to-Earth and easy to talk to that half the time I don't even bother to turn the recorder on. After three plus years of interaction, it feels like to buddies chatting more than a formal interview.

Take for example last year when I discovered that Daniels is the kind of iPods on the Redskins. If one of the new guys buys one and isn't sure what to put on it, they basically hand it over to Phil and he takes care of them. I asked him to estimate how many teammates he's had to take care of and he couldn't even guess. That's just the kind of guy he is.

So today, on the first day of minicamp, I was talking with some of the Redskins media relation folks and asked if they had seen the YouTube videos of Daniels deadlifting 600 lbs and squating 633 lbs. from a powerlifting competition back in March. I couldn't remember the exact amounts he had lifted, so I'm pretty sure I actually asked them, "Did either of you see the video of Phillip Daniels powerlifting a Buick?" Once practice ended, I asked Phil exactly how much he had lifted and he told me "633." Seriously, that's ridiculous. Most powerlifters are short and squatty. Daniels is listed at 6'4" and 276 lbs. Most football players are not good powerlifters, but then again, most football players who powerlift aren't Phillip Daniels.
After getting the official number from him, he was grabbed by ComcastSportsnet for an interview and I snagged some other players. But it just so happened he and I finished up at the same time. As we were headed into the building we started chatting and I asked him when he's going to help me get big like him. He immediately offered to put together a training regime for me, but said right away, "You can't be half steppin'." Basically, his message was if he's going to do this for me, then I've got to commit to it. I told him I'm on the wrong side of 30 and am not trying to play in the NFL, I just want to keep in good shape, and then asked if he'd ever heard of the 300 workout. He hadn't, so I told him briefly about the training the actors from 300 went through to look ripped for the movie.

Then we got to talking about him powerlifting and that's when he told me he knows he can beat the 633 lbs. he squatted. Apparently he squatted 650 lbs. earlier in the day, but agreed not to try and overdue it during the competition. He's going back to Illinois, where his wife shot the videos I linked to earlier, at the end of June and he plans on doing at least 650 lbs. then. His thought process is that he did that in March and is in even better shape now, so he feels like 700 lbs. is a reasonable goal. Considering that's three and a half of me, needless to say I'll be impressed when he does it. In fact, I'm saying it now -- I fully believe he will do it. Good things happen to good people, and he's the type of guy to put in the work to reach a crazy goal like that.

talent, credibility sold separately

2008-05-01T14:33:00.010-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

I need to up front and honest with you all, this relationship we have is not exclusive. Sure, I come out and tell you how great you are and that you're the only readers for me, but the truth is -- I'm a whore. I hate to admit it, but if you were unexpectedly drop by and check up on me one day, you've got a decent chance of catching me in the act with another website. In hopes of clearing the air, I figured it best to lay it all out there.

For starters, I got together with the guys from Skinscast to do a post-draft podcast. We take a pick-by-pick look at the Redskins draft and argue over how we think the team did. One bit of warning - for a guy called Homer, I was fairly pessimistic that night. But I guess that's to be expected when the 'Skins draft 37 pass catchers in one day.

In addition to the podcast, there's my bi-weekly column on HoboTrashcan. This week, I take a moment to thank the Washington Wizards for somehow finding a way to raise the bar after the Redskins and Capitals respective playoff runs. And since the Redskins minicamp starts this weekend and we're talking about HoboTrashcan, let me take a minute to direct you towards celebrity interviews with some of the most beloved players on the roster -- Clinton Portis, Fred Smoot and Marcus Washington. Each of those interviews was from the 2007 season, but I think it's reasonable to expect we'll get some new ones this year once training camp gets going. Hopefully these will do until then.

trying to find a nut

2008-04-30T16:05:00.004-04:00

Okay, so the last time I mentioned a D.C.-themed t-shirt on here, my buddy George ended up getting a not-so-subtle letter from "The Man" ordering him to shut down production. Hopefully, history will not repeat itself. One of my favorite Redskins fans, we'll call him Joe, has designed two Sean Taylor Tribute shirts, which can be seen here. Regardless of the fact that I consider Joe a friend, I truly believe his work as a graphic designer is second to none, so go check them out and show him some support.

One word of caution, these t-shirts are only around for a limited time, so head over to Rogue Squirrel and pick them up now. Come football season you'll make a lot of other 'Skins fans jealous.

where amazing happens

2008-04-29T20:58:00.006-04:00

Brendan Haywood earned the scorn of the national media when he delivered a "hard foul" to LeBron James, sending King James into the third row of seats in the first game of the Wizards-LeBrons series. DeShawn Stevenson, depending on which talking head you listen to, either attempted to clothesline James or use a close-handed fist to straight up pop him in the dome in game four. Judging by the number of times folks in the national media have called for a Wizards player to be suspended, clearly, no one paid to cover basketball is up for any sort of physical contact -- especially when it involves The Savior.

Well, that got me thinking. Maybe the Wiz are better off openly embracing the role of the villain. I mean, they're already down three games to one and nobody outside of the beltway is rooting for them. So go with it. Cue up the intro music for Iron Sheik or Nikolai Volkoff from the WWF's glory days and come out playing the part of the bad guy. Start one of your expendable bench players like Andray Blatche and the first time LeBron James goes for a dunk, a layup or even a drink of water, you knock his ass out. We don't need to start a brawl like the trash in Detroit, but we can send a message that this Washington squad isn't going down without a fight.

Which brings me to my last point -- come out in Bullets jerseys. In fact, announce tomorrow morning that the franchise is embracing its roots and returning to a name that never should have gotten away. Team owner Abe Pollin has ruined two names -- changing the Bullets to the Wizards back in 1995 because the name "carried violent overtones" and then being honored by the District when they renamed Fun Street to Abe Pollin Way. So he's turned the local basketball team soft and taken the "fun" out of Washington. Thanks for nothing, dick.

You want people to take you seriously, Wizards/Bullets? Well, I want to cheer for a team not named after a Harry Potter character. Let's work together and see if we can't fix this sad situation. For starters, break out the old red, white and blue Bullets jerseys, grab a steel chair and show the good people of Cleveland that you're ready for a shot at the title. If nothing else, it'll give us all something to talk about during the offseason (besides the fact that this team is better off without Gilbert Arenas in the lineup).

Oops ... did I say that?

UPDATE: Dan Steinberg's latest entry proves the Wiz are completely on board with my suggestion. DeShawn Stevenson didn't come out onto the court to the Iron Sheik's music -- he did one better. He arrived in Cleveland for game five wearing a Mike Vick jersey. It's so simple, I'm stunned I didn't think of it. Why go back 20 years, when you go sport the jersey of public enemy number one who is currently in jail for killing dogs for fun? This is especially effective when you're in the city with a diehard group of fans who call themselves ... you guessed it ... the Dawg Pound. Did I mention D.C. is like no other sports town?

(courtesy photo)

shawn carter update

2008-04-28T22:07:00.004-04:00

As previously mentioned, Shawn Carter, a.k.a. - Jay-Z, took time out of his busy schedule to dive into the DeShawn Stevenson-LeBron James feud. Thanks to the reader who was kind enough to pass along this link to the hip-hop icon's track that was played at Love nightclub in D.C. this past Friday night while the Cleveland LeBrons were enjoying a night out on the town. Getting Soulja Boy to show up at a game, sit courtside and sport your jersey is one thing, but having Jay-Z make a custom-track and sending it to the club you just so happen to be at with your boys ... well ... that's taking it to the next level. Needless to say, the freestyle lyrics flowing from Mr. Carter are not exactly work safe. Keep that in mind when you check it out.

And sadly, unless the Wizards learn to rebound, take smarter shots and stop with the careless passes this series (and the off-court drama that comes with it) will be over in the next few days. Can't Gilbert Arenas blog about Nas and get him involved? If I remember correctly, Nas and Jay-Z aren't exactly the closest of friends.

going 5 hole: the draft

2008-04-28T14:42:00.008-04:00

Five thoughts on the day after the NFL draft:

1. The Washington Redskins continue to defy logic. All too often, 31 teams have a way of thinking and then there's the Redskins. When 31 teams decide it's best to build a championship contender through the draft, the 'Skins happily toss away picks by the dozens justifying the tactic by saying they'd rather have a proven veteran commodity rather than rolling the dice on a rookie. But then that "proven" player ends up being T.J. Duckett or Brandon Lloyd, meaning they might as well have set the draft pick on fire.

This year Vinny Cerrato and the powers that be opted to give this NFL draft thing a shot. They did their best to keep their draft picks heading into the weekend and promise to actually have a draft board this year. Once the draft began, Redskins fans all held their breath to see how this "new" tactic would play out. Much to our surprise, the front office seemingly made a great move when they traded out of the 21st pick and acquired some extra ammo for their newfound draft strategy. Unfortunately, once they got those picks, the 'Skins front office couldn't help themselves. As I stated in my day one recap, the team drafted three pass catchers in the span of 16 picks to go on an offense with plenty of name players (Moss, Randel El, Cooley, Sellers and Portis) who already come into a game expecting to touch the ball from time to time. Not making a move to bolster either the offensive or defensive line with any of the three second-round picks, regardless of how many receivers you had ranked as "first-round talent," is negligible. At this point, Jon Jansen and Randy Thomas spend as much time on the Redskins sideline as I do. Wouldn't it be wise to have someone -- anyone -- under the age of 30 qualified to play on the offensive line this season?

2. The second day of the draft was kinder to the Redskins, if for no other reason than they didn't draft another wide out. With the 96th overall pick, the 'Skins drafted Chad Rinehart, an offensive lineman from Northern Iowa. I heard Mike Mayock, the NFL Network's answer to Mel Kiper, had this guy as a seventh-round caliber player, but that should matter to anyone in D.C. The team brought is a 6'5", 320 lb. country boy who Joe Bugel should be able to mold into a guard for the future. With their fourth rounder, the 'Skins selected my personal favorite player from this weekend, J.T. Tryon, a cornerback from Arizona State. He's 5'9" and 190 lbs., but he already thinks he can go toe-to-toe with Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens and basically said he didn't care who the Redskins had as cornerbacks on the roster, he's coming in to win the job. My buddy, Papa John, is convinced he'll be the first rookie ducktaped to the goalposts during minicamp.

3. Two other players of note worth mentioning -- the Redskins picked up both Georgia Tech punter Durant Brooks and Hawaii QB Colt Brennan in the sixth round. I love the punter pick if for no other reason than it very well mean the end of Derrick Frost Era. Frosty, while a "highly" enjoyable interview (unless you ask him, like I did, if the reason he still has a job is because he has naked photos of someone in the front office), scares the hell out of me every time he lines up to punt. You honestly never know if he's going to punt it 60 yards or six. That's probably because he doesn't know either.

About the new quarterback -- he's Jordan Palmer with a new name. A year ago the 'Skins took a flyer on Carson Palmer's brother in hopes of developing him from a raw talent into an NFL quarterback. He didn't last because Mark Brunell was still collecting his pension ... er ... paycheck here. This year, they took Brennan, who set 21 NCAA passing records in his three years over the rainbow. On the one hand, Brennan comes into a safe situation, with no expectations and a head coach who knows a thing or two about getting the best from his QBs. On the other, this guy is a short, injury-prone, side-armed quarterback who finds himself on the wrong side of the law from time to time. We have Jason Campbell showing up to neighborhood birthday parties, not Pacman Jones making it rain. If this guy even shows up to a meeting late, I'd send him on the next bus to Hawaii. Besides, if were up to me, I would have drafted Dennis Dixon, the Oregon quarterback who was drafted by Pittsburgh in the fifth round. That kid is a flat out playmaker.

4. Stepping away from the Redskins draft, I wanted to take a moment to highlight the top three drafts from this weekend. Now, I openly point out that it'll probably be two years before we truly know how each of these teams fared in the draft, but we can still see some teams have reason to be optimistic sooner rather than later. First of all, the Kansas City Chiefs, led by Herm "We play to win the game" Edwards was phenomenal. Defensive tackle Glen Dorsey is the real deal, and was the number one overall player on the 'Skins draft board. Branden Alberts, the guard from Glen Burnie High, is exactly the type of offensive lineman I would have traded your kid to get on my favorite football team. Brandon Flowers was one of the most consistent players on a stout Virginia Tech defense, and Jamaal Charles is the type of running back who can break a 60-yard touchdown at any moment. Those are four really good players from four legit college programs who should be making Kansas City proud for the foreseeable future.

I also really liked the Arizona Cardinals' draft. Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie is a very talented cornerback out of Tennessee State. Calais Campbell is the defensive lineman out of University of Miami pipeline, who I was convinced the 'Skins would draft. Early Doucet is a productive wide out from LSU who should take full advantage of his situation and learn from ultra talented wide receivers Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald. And finally, I liked how the Pittsburgh Steelers spent their weekend. Rookie Rashard Mendenhall and Willie Parker should work nicely in the Steelers backfield. Limas Sweed was a dependable wide out during his sentence in Texas, and I've already mentioned that I'm a fan of Dennis Dixon, the quarterback from Oregon. There's a reason the Steelers are consistently competitive.

5. This isn't completely draft related, but it happened over draft weekend, so work with me. After hearing months of nagging, I finally got my act together and uploaded some of my best photos taken of the Washington Redskins over the past three years. If you were one of the people kicking me to get my act together, or if you just want to see some decent shots of your favorite 'Skins players, then click this link.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

only in the district

2008-04-27T09:02:00.006-04:00

"There will never be a rivalry between me and DeShawn."

Those are the words of Cleveland Cavs superstar LeBron James from this past Friday. Thankfully, King James' words to the media and his actions are not on the same page as this first round playoff series continues to find new ways to become more and more enjoyable. Let's take a step back to get everyone caught up:

After the Wiz defeated the LeBrons back in March, Stevenson called LeBron "overrated." It had less to do with King James being on the cover of Vogue that month, and more to do with stopping LeBron from hitting a game-winning shot at the buzzer. When asked for a response, James declined, saying responding to Stevenson "would be like Jay-Z saying something bad about Soulja Boy." (Trashtalking For Dummies breakdown: I'm the best there is and he's a one-hit wonder).

DeShawn is a smart guy, so he uses that slight as a reason to contact Soulja Boy. He catches the rapper up on the feud and invites him to join the Wizards in their playoff quest to dethrone mighty King James. Fast forward to this past week, when Soulja Boy sat courtside for the Wizards first home game of the playoffs, a 36-point rout of the Cavs, while rocking a DeShawn Stevenson jersey. If you're in the mood for a good laugh, here's a link to the video (courtesy of the Washington Post) of Soulja Boy doing his trademark dance and even throwing in Stevenson's "I can't feel my face" hand wave at the end.

Beat writers jokingly asked LeBron if Jay-Z, who by the way is a minority owner of the New Jersey Nets, would be appearing in James' corner for game four. "No. Come on. We don't ... I'm not even going to say what I want to say," was his response. So that's it, end of story, right? Not by a long shot.

Mike Wise's column from Sunday's edition of the Post breaks the news that Jay-Z made a diss record on Friday about DeShawn Stevenson, with Mr. Beyonce Knowles freestyling over the beat from "Blow The Whistle" by Too Short. Read that last sentence again. The biggest rapper alive crushed DeShawn Stevenson in a track specifically made for this feud that was played at Love, the same D.C. hotspot where Gilbert Arenas' million-dollar birthday jam was held last year. Ladies and gentlemen, all we're missing is an owner like the unstable Mark Cuban or a cameo by "Iron" Mike Tyson and this could end up becoming the biggest sports story of 2008.

People wonder how I've been able to brainwash my wife, who knew nothing about sports before I "saved" her five years ago. The truth is, this town does sports like no other. We've got Clinton Portis playing dress up during press conferences. Chris Cooley wears booty shorts and marries a Redskins cheerleader (only after she gets fired for being with him in the first place). Alex Ovechkin, the league's best player, like to hit people as much as score goals. Sergei Federov was married to Anna Kournikova. Gilbert Arenas blogs about killing himself. Caron Butler went on Oprah to tell her about being a thug as a child. DeShawn Stevenson and Drew Gooden have a beard-growing competition -- first one to shave reportedly loses $25,000. Seriously, this isn't professional sports -- it's an MTV reality show. It's the kind of crap-tastic drama that fills her gossip magazines and airs weekly on Big Brother or The Real World. You can't pry her away from this stuff. Where else in the world would Jay-Z feel the need to pause his 43rd comeback tour to freestyle a rap dissing the fourth most popular basketball player on the team?

Only in the district. And thank God for that.

livin' on a prayer

2008-04-26T22:04:00.005-04:00

Day one of the NFL draft is in the books and if you're a Redskins fan you've had no choice but to scratch your head at least once during the day. Let me start by saying I'm thrilled the team was able to trade out of the first round and improve their selections, thanks to a deal with Atlanta. Some of the names we'd heard the 'Skins liked were there when it was time to make a decision about the 21st pick, but they resisted the urge to reach on a player who likely would have still been available later on. I was genuinely pleased with how things played out -- trading away the pick and then still landing Devin Thomas, the wide out from Michigan State who they had rated as the best receiver in the draft.

Vinny Cerrato, the man calling the shots for the Redskins on draft day, said if they weren't ablt to make a move they would have drafted Thomas at 21. Luckily, they made the move and still got him with the third pick in the second round, while also helping themselves out by improving later pick (they got the 34th, 48th and 103rd pick overall for the 21st, 84th and 154th selections in the draft). This is an impulse team that likes to make the big splash whenever possible, so seeing them rewarded for playing it safe and trading back gives one hope that they learn to be a little more like the guys calling the shots in New England, Pittsburgh and the rest of the elite front offices.

But just when you think you've got them figured out, these Redskins go and do something that completely baffles you. A team in dire need of help on both the offensive and defensive lines decides to use the newly-acquired second rounder on a tight end named Fred Davis from USC. I'm fairly sure if we were ranking the biggest areas of need on the current Washington Redskins football team that tight end would not rank in the top five, maybe not in the top 10. Chris Cooley is a premiere player at the position, Todd Yoder does a fine job backing him up and occasionally blocker and Tyler Ecker is a young guy who the 'Skins drafted a year ago for depth at the position. With Calais Campbell, the defensive end from Miami (a.k.a. - The "U") sitting there waiting for the Redskins to ask him for this dance, I thought the team would continue to impress us all today. Instead, we got Fred.

If that's not enough, then the 'Skins went one step further and drafted another receiver, Malcolm Kelly (you know, the guy I compared to Rod Gardner in an earlier post). I fully understand that the Redskins flew down to Oklahoma for a private workout with the kid this past Thursday and they legitimately considered drafted him with the 21st pick, meaning that he looked very appealing to them 30 picks later, but this is simply overkill. Unless they're planning on putting 100 lbs. of weight on Fred and Mr. Kelly and teaching them to play on the offensive line, I cannot be on board with these picks. You've got Santana Moss, Antwan Randle El, James Thrash and Anthony Mix at wide out already, as well as Clinton Portis, Chris Cooley and Mike Sellers also around to get the ball to. When exactly are Thomas, Davis and Kelly (they sound like a law firm, don't they?) going to touch the football? Sure, you're trying to surround Jason Campbell with as much talent as possible, but that should also include help on the O-line.

Heading into day two the team has a third, fourth, sixth and two seventh rounders to get some depth on the offensive and defensive line, safety, cornerback and a back-up quarterback. Considering it's virtually impossible for nine rookies to make the 2008 squad, I'm going to go out on a limb and say this team will still have some holes to fill once the draft is done. That's means you either cross your fingers and pray like hell that a veteran or two gets cut in June or you go into the season praying injuries don't cripple you at vital positions. Either way, that's cause for an awful lot of faith with the big guy upstairs.

One final note - For what it's worth, Cerrato told the media out at Redskins Park that drafting 17 receivers today basically means that they've given up on trying to acquire Chad Johnson, Anquan Boldin or Roy Williams in a trade.

easy on the eyes

2008-04-26T10:47:00.005-04:00

There is no offseason for my buddies from Skinscast, who went above and beyond the call of duty to bring you, the general public, photos from the 2008 Washington Redskins cheerleader auditions. I'm not sure why you're still reading this when you should be clicking this link and getting your first look at the 2008 First Ladies of Football.

The photo on the right is actually one I took last season, but for some reason I figured that you guys wouldn't mind seeing Anabel Dela Cerna one more time. If you like her, then you'll probably enjoy this link to her photos from last year's Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Can you tell NFL draft day puts me in a good mood?

(photo by Brian Murphy)

feeling a draft

2008-04-25T19:11:00.008-04:00

(photo by Brian Murphy)

I take my Redskins very seriously. At times I'm like an overprotective parent, hoping to shield my little mess of a kid away from all the harm and negativity in the world -- even if it means, at times, trying to protect it from itself.

Let me say for the record, I don't have a problem with Redskins owner Daniel Snyder. I have never once thought that his heart wasn't in the right place. He's loved the 'Skins, just like I have, since day one. If for no other reason, I'll always be cool with The Danny for that. But damn if the man doesn't just make for public enemy number one with the media, who by the way are the people the cover his team on a day-to-day basis. Maybe it's the perceived arrogance or the limited media availability or it's just the fact that he's mega-rich young guy who bought himself a silver spoon and one of the most successful sports franchises around. Whatever the reason, the folks charged with covering him and his team just plain don't like him, and he gets no free passes from them. Especially this time of year.

It's fitting that I bring up The Danny the day before the draft, because his name is always floating around out there during the offseason. How many NFL owners have a personal airplane? Couldn't say. But we do know The Danny has Redskins One fueled up and ready to go on the first day of free agency or if there's a personal workout that needs attended in the days leading up to the draft, as was the case this week when he watched a handful of kids go through one final session before finalizing the Redskins' draft board.

There are a few names out there that are being repeated often enough to make 'Skins fans take notice. The first name mentioned was Virginia offensive lineman Branden Albert, but at this point everyone's fairly convinced he'll be gone at least 10 spots before the Redskins are on the clock. With Jon Jansen and Randy Thomas seemingly unable to stay healthy for more than two games in a row, and the rest of the starters all over 30, it would seem wise for the Redskins to use their first rounder adding some youth to the line. But nothing's that easy with the Washington Redskins, is it?

Another name we hear as a possible addition to the maroon and black (sorry Mr. Zorn, it's too funny not to reference every once in a while) is Phillip Merling, a defensive lineman from Clemson. He's one of the aforementioned player who worked out for The Danny and friends 48 hours before the draft. He's also the gentleman who has dropped on some draft boards because of health issues, specifically a sports hernia. I read on the Redskins Insider blog that some scouts consider him a kind of Phillip Daniels 2.0, of sorts. While I like Daniels -- he's solid on and off the field and has the wingspan of a Buick -- he's never been someone the opposition has to gameplan for. And when we hear about the sports hernia, the locals can't get a warm and fuzzy feeling. A sports hernia is no fun, and it doesn't just magically go away one day. It's the same injury that caused Philadelphia Eagles QB Donovan McNabb to end his 2005 season prematurely. Call me a pessimist, but I get a sneaking suspicion that if the Redskins draft Merling the best-case scenario is he turns out like linebacker Rocky McIntosh, a talented young player who had health issues when the 'Skins drafted him in the second round of the 2006 draft and continues to have trouble staying on the field because of various injuries. At least they can work together rehabbing from whatever ails them. (In the immortal words of Tenacious D -- "That's fucking teamwork!")

The other name floating out there is Oklahoma wide out Malcolm Kelly, who I would rather not see holding up a Redskins jersey at any point this weekend. He's the guy who ran a terribly slow 40-yard dash and then blamed everyone else. Then he set up a "do over" on a faster track on campus and still ran a disappointing 4.63. He's a player who, like Merling, finds himself sliding down the draft board, only his reason is called "character issues," which is NFL code for "the guy's an asshole." He's a big target, who isn't very fast and has questionable character. Where have we heard that story before? Oh, that's right -- the 'Skins drafted a guy by the name of Rod "Stone Hands" Gardner back in 2001, who is the poster child for that description. If ever a team should be afraid to walk down the aisle with a player like that, it's the Redskins.

That's why I'm openly praying for a trade -- either dropping out of the first round to pick up additional selections, or to acquire a proven wide receiver like Anquan Boldin, Roy Williams or Chad Johnson. Sure, Johnson is carrying on like a jackass in Cincy, but he's a Drew Rosenhaus guy, and we all know that The Super Agent is in The Danny's "Fave Five." As soon as he gets to D.C., he'll be smiling and sitting courtside with Clinton Portis at Wizards games or in the front row with Jason Campbell at Capitals games.

At the end of the day, the Redskins need help on the offensive line, defensive line, at receiver and at safety. They would also like to draft a third-string quarterback now that New Orleans has decided to take on a charity case by the name of Mark Brunell, leaving Washington with only Campbell and Todd "The Tasty Drink" Collins behind center.

I traded emails with a few of the professionals who earn a living covering this team, and none of them can say with any amount of certainty what the Redskins will do at around 6:30 p.m. Saturday evening when it's time to make the 21st pick in the draft. Names like LaRon Landry, Sean Taylor and Jason Campbell might lead fans to think that's the Redskins will have no problems bringing in another cornerstone with their first rounder, but guys like Patrick Ramsey and Rod Gardner have also been first rounders over the last decade. My advice? Crack open a frosty and refreshing beverage, cross your fingers and pray like hell the front office brings home the goods, one way or the other.

In the words of Terrell Owens (when he's not appearing on porn websites) get your popcorn ready.

damn the man update

2008-04-25T15:26:00.005-04:00

A few loyal readers contacted me to point out that the link to ConcretePond's Ovechkin t-shirt was down, so I emailed George to give him a head's up, hoping he'd fix it so people could continue to pick up this wonderfully creative tee. Sadly, it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Here's what George had to say:

"The NHL sent me a friendly letter requesting that I not sell them anymore and there won't be any trouble. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted."

So if you were lucky enough to order one before "The Suits" stepped in and ruined a good thing, congrats. If not, sorry about your lucky. It just seems stupid to me that the NHL would get involved in something as minor as this - especially since they've been dying for attention the last few years. Let's give the t-shirt the proper send off, the only way we know how.

Goodbye.

ps -- This article is one of the more enjoyable pieces written about the Caps all year long. Man crushes for everyone!

the history of civilization?

2008-04-24T15:11:00.004-04:00

Growing up, I was a huge fan of the WWF. The theater involved with Hulk Hogan calling on his Hulkamaniacs to "say their prayers and eat their vitamins" so he could have the strength to defeat Andre the Giant was more than enough to have me tune in each Saturday morning.

I also grew up an avid boxing fan and often was able to talk my parents into letting me have a friend spend the night when one of Mike Tyson's fights were going to be shown on HBO. From their standpoint it was simple - 'Iron Mike' was going to knock out his tomato can of an opponent in the first round and then they'd send my buddy and I to bed for the night. I bring this up because anyone whose ever heard the name Don King knows the ingredients for a entertaining weigh-in - lots of trash talking, some pushing and shoving and then the promise of a top-notch main event.

I bring up both of these examples because this entry is dedicated to the Washington Wizards, who are currently facing a "standing eight count" against the Cleveland LeBrons. You may remember Wiz guard DeShawn Stevenson calling King James "overrated," and Gilbert Arenas following that up with a blog entry basically begging for a first-round bout with Cleveland because he was sure they were beatable. Well, in the immortal words of my mom, "Be careful what you ask for because you just may get it." The Wizards hung around in game one until their biggest Achillies' heel exposed itself once again.

For three years I've argued with other locals who follow this team that they're never going to venture deep into the playoffs unless radical changes are made to the composition of this team. There are simply too many guys who settle for jump shots instead of driving into the paint and getting the tough baskets or forcing the opposition into foul trouble.
That may work for stretches during the regular season, but when everything intensifies during the postseason, jump shooters have a way of going cold and missing the big shots with the game on the line. That's why ESPN always shows when a shooter drains a 20 footer in the second half -- because they just don't go in that often in the playoffs.

Antawn Jamison is a wonderful complementary player, but he's not the type of go-to player who is willing to bang around down low and muscle his way to the basket when the season is on the line. Gilbert Arenas is fearless, when healthy, but this player wearing #0 is not that same player. Injuries have limited Agent Zero to 15 points and three assists a game so far in the playoffs, which is fine if you're Derek Fisher. Not so much for Arenas, who fancies himself a superstar. Ditto with Caron Butler's production, who is bringing home 13 points and five boards a night. Brendan Haywood is willing to get down and dirty -- shoving King James into the third row of seats behind the basket when James had the audacity to try to drive the basket while Haywood was on the court (he hasn't been this willing to get physical since the last time he and teammate Etan Thomas read poetry together). But Haywood can only do so much. Anyone expecting more than 10 points and 10 rebounds from Brendan is in for a letdown.

So this leads us to a fairly simple question -- if the Wizards are built for regular season success, at best, and are suffering from the same rash of injuries that have hampered them for the last two years, why are they talking trash to the best young player in the game? Um ... anyone?

"I think the Washington Wizards have got to be the dumbest team in the history of civilization," said Charles Barkley, who never shies away from a chance to state the obvious. "I think for them to rile up LeBron, who is the second best player in the NBA, I think that's just stupid."

The bottom line is, unless the Wiz can stop talking the talk and start walking the walk, they'll be golfing the golf by next weekend. They're entertaining and a fun team to watch, and when the shots are falling, they can run with anyone. But during the playoffs, I just don't think their jump-shooting mentality, especially against a motivated Cleveland LeBrons squad, is good enough to carry them past the first round. If this series goes six games, I'd be stunned. Hopefully I'm wrong, but history (and not to mention Cleveland's eight straight playoff wins against the Wiz) seem to agree.

capping off the caps

2008-04-23T22:22:00.002-04:00

As some of you know, I've played on a beer league hockey team called The 5 Holes for seven years now. Well, our summer season started Tuesday night at 9:45 p.m., which was exactly when Game 7 of the Caps-Flyers series went to overtime. Half of the guys on the team are Caps fans and we have a few Flyers fans too, so it was tough heading out and playing -- especially since I'd been to the first three home games in D.C. We ended up winning 7-2, which was great until we found out how the Caps-Flyers game ended.

Speaking of The 5 Holes, we've always gone to the same company -- Concrete Pond -- to order our jerseys. Well, the main guy over there, George, designed quite possibly the greatest Capitals inspired t-shirt in the history of the franchise - which can be seen on their website. George is such a great guy, he hooked my wife and I each up with a shirt prior to game one and I wore it to each of the home games. Additionally, I sent the link to Dan Steinberg, of Washington Post fame, and he dug it enough to give it some love on his blog. Now the things are selling like hot cakes, or something of equally-impressive selling quality, so go order one and tell them murf sent you.

Finally, back to the Caps. The day before the regular season finale I headed over to Kettler to watch the Caps optional practice. Their media relations guy, Nate Ewell, is a good guy and told me if I ever wanted to come out and shoot photos of practice to let him know and he'd hook me up. Well, he did. I spent the practice session in the penalty box (fitting, I know) and got some great shots. Due to popular demand, I added a handful of my shots from that day to my Flickr page, which can be found here.

going 5 hole: the caps

2008-04-23T14:58:00.002-04:00

Five thoughts on the day after the Washington Capitals dream ride came to an end:

1. Alexander Ovechkin, who turns 23 this September, is already the best player that the District of Columbia has had during my 31 years on this planet. We're not just talking hockey - we're talking across the board. Opponents have yet to figure out a weakness in his game - he hits, he passes and lord knows he can score goals.

Remember the old Russian stereotype? You know, that all Russian athletes are essentially emotionless robots like Ivan Drago from the Rocky movies. Yeah, well, he shoots that right out the window. He celebrates every moment with unabashed enthusiasm and simultaneously endears himself to the ever-growing Captials fanbase.

2. Cristobal Huet just earned himself a fat new contract and the Caps should be the team to give it to him. Let's take a minute to point out that Montreal gave up on the guy - traded him to the Caps for a second-round pick they acquired from the Ducks for center Brian Sutherby. (Sidenote: In 45 games this year with Anaheim, Sutherby registered zero goals, one assist and 57 penalty minutes. If it weren't for the penalty minutes you wouldn't even know he touched the ice). Huet went 11-2 down the stretch and posted a goals against average of 1.63 and a save percentage of .936 with two shutouts. In the playoffs his numbers weren't as good, but neither was the defense in front of him for the first three games of the series.

Contrary to popular opinion in Montreal (and really, do we want to listen to anyone who riots after the top-seeded team in the conference advances out of the first round?) Huet is a goaltender you can build a team around. Sadly, that means it's the end of the line for Olaf Kolzig, who has been the face of the franchise since he arrived in '89. I would hope he decides to retire to focus on the Athletes Against Autism program he cares about so deeply, but I wouldn't hold it against him if the Caps didn't resign him and Olie went elsewhere to close out his career. He's earned the right to do whatever he sees fit.

3. While I'd like to see Sergei Federov return, I just don't think it's going to happen. He's 38 years old and very well may retire. But, if he wants to play another season or two he's not a lock to remain in town. Let's not forget that the Caps already have a similar pass-first forward named Michael Nylander on the roster, and will definitely need to find room in their top three lines for him and captain Chris Clark. That probably spells the end for the former Mr. Anna Kournikova, who helped Alex and Alex more than we'll ever know.

4. The Capitals, in my honest opinion, need two more legit defenseman to take that next step. I've heard from a few different places that Brian Pothier may be done (concussion), but even if he were healthy he's not the answer. Jeff Schultz and Milan Jurcina were nothing short of a liability every time they stepped out on the ice during the playoffs. Jurcina may be 6'4" and 233 lbs., but he cannot clear the puck out of his zone to save his life. How he sneaks onto the playing surface during a penalty kill is beyond me. I'm not kidding when I say that if I were Bruce Boudreau, I would have hog-tied him to the bench any time my squad was a man down. If he even looked at the ice I'd instruct Donnie Brashear to "ka-bong" him. Signing two veteran blue liners or one vet and bringing in a talented youngster like Calgary Hitman defenseman Karl Alzner would keep a goalie like Huet from having to stand on his head three times a game. While it's highly exciting to watch, it would probably extend the lives of Boudreau, George McPhee and Ted Leonsis by about a decade.

5. Otherwise, the Caps look an awful lot like the 2006-7 Pittsburgh Penguins. They didn't make it past the first round in the first dance, but the building blocks are definitely in place. Nicklas Backstrom certainly didn't play like a rookie during the Flyers series, and except for the occasional ill-advised penalty, Alexander Semin was probably the best Capital not named Huet over the last two weeks. Mike Green is channeling his inner Paul Coffey, while Brooks Laich (who people forget came to town when fan favorite Peter Bondra was traded away) has proven more than just eye candy for the ladies -- gladly filling the thankless role of "guy who repeatedly get crosschecked for an entire shift while he screens the opposition's goalie." If Eric Fehr, Tomas Fleischmann or any of the other young guns can make modest improvements during the offseason than this team really doesn't need much more to become one of the league's elite. While other teams in the local market might not be able to make the same claim, the Washington Capitals can feel confident that they're ready to "unleash the fury" on the opposition for the forseeable future.

(photo by Brian Murphy)

time to play the game

2008-04-23T11:36:00.000-04:00

My parents knew at an early age that I was different than most kids. When I was in middle school, I would sit inches away from the TV set with a spiral notebook and my number-two pencil on NFL draft day, taking meticulous notes on every team’s moves throughout the day. If a player was traded, I would put a star by his name and a footnote on the bottom of the page detailing the specifics of the transaction. Nevermind that all of this information would be in the sports pages of the Washington Post the next day – even at the age of 12, I needed to be a part of the action as it was happening.

Fast forward nearly 20 years and not much has changed. I may have a wife, a mortgage and responsibilities, but at the end of the day I’m still the same kid at heart. The Washington Redskins, Capitals, Wizards, Nationals and D.C. United are very much a part of my day-to-day life, and therefore I decided to create this blog for myself and for any of the other district’s diehards.

What will hopefully set this blog apart from other places on the ‘net is that, from time to time, I have access to these teams. As a photojournalist, I come across opportunities to take photos and conduct interviews with some of D.C.’s finest. And if that’s not enough, as a Monday morning quarterback, I will happily share my thoughts and perspectives on each of the area’s Fab Five teams whenever the opportunity presents itself.

That’s more than enough about me. Let’s get to the good stuff.